IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Businesses should hire employees for their entire lives. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#businesses #employees #lives #support
We live in cutting-edge world, where everything changes and develops day by day. Some people consider that companies should keep their employees permanently while others, including me completely disagree with
this
 point of view.
First
 of all, employees would become more delinquent, as they would be incontrovertible that would never lose their career and
this
 could fail lots of businesses, in fact employees would not be interested in competing with each other, or showing their talents.
Therefore
,
this
 leads businesses to close or to claim bankruptcy.
Moreover
, if employees stay in the same task for their whole life, they may definitely be bored or even irritated, which results in employee motivation.
Consequently
Accept comma addition
Consequently, this
this
 decline their efficiency too.
Hence by
Accept comma addition
Hence, by
 changing their staffs each several year, organizations can ameliorate its efficiency as well as productivity.
Secondly
, due to the competition among corporations, nowadays, businesses require young workers. So it is difficult to have the superior operatives because of the fact that companies are not able to hire the satisfactory staff without dismissing another employee.
Furthermore
, as the world is becoming more contemporary, businesses have to experience employees for a quick period of time, if they are accordant or not.
For example
, infrequently employers could be fascinated by someone during a work interview and may consider that he or she is the prime candidate for appointment,
nevertheless
 after experiencing, hirers may comprehend that they were inaccurate. To conclude, I believe that hiring employees for their entire lives is not a reasonable idea as businesses may claim bankruptcy.
Submitted by madina08mart on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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