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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagrams below shows incidents of theft in two states of a south American country from 1990 to 2000.summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below shows incidents of theft in two states of a south American country from 1990 to 2000.summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #incidents #theft #two #states #american #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart expresses information about the statistic of thefts that follow in 2 states of a South American country over a period of 11 years.
Overall
, the graph reveals that the robbery incident was controlled by
State
 A
whereas
State
 B produce poor control over looting
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
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 and witnessed
surprising
Change the word
surprisingly
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 high numbers of
robbery
Fix the agreement mistake
robberies
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 in the year 2000.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 1990 to 1996, the sum of witnessed nearly 500 incidents of
thefts
Fix the agreement mistake
theft
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 in 1990
Add the comma(s)
, as well as incidents,
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as well as
 incidents remained in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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500 till 1996 in
State
 A but
State
 B was rising steadily
in
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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850.In 1997, the total of incidents of fraud in 600 rise to fall down in
coming
Correct article usage
the coming
show examples
 years and in
year
Change the article
the year
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 2000,
State
 A expressed
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 figure of crime cases, which was around 370. The theft rises
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 780 in
State
 B and remained in the similar 3 periods. Later, in 1994, they rose drastically to over 1000. After going down to almost 800
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1995 and 1996, theft matter constantly kept rising at an alarming rate for the following years and touched a high
if
Correct your spelling
of
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 1800 in the year 2000.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words state with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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