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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some Believe That People Should Not Continue To Work Once They Reach The Age Of Retirement Until what age individuals should work is a debatable issue; it is argued by many people that individuals should stop working once they reach the age of retirement. This essay strongly supports this view as this will greatly benefits an individual to stay blissful and motivated.

#believe #people #work #age #retirement #individuals
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To commence with, on average, an individual works for almost twenty-five to thirty years before his or her
retirement
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. To explain,
this
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time
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 span is quite long enough and by the
time
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 they reach the age of 55 or 60 most of them have already worked hard and fulfilled their responsibilities like providing education
to
Suggestion
for
 their children and saving enough for their
retirement
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.
Therefore
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, after
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retirement individuals
Accept comma addition
retirement, individuals
 need
time
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 for themselves to enjoy their
life
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. To illustrate
further
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, according to a recent survey by
World Health Organization
Suggestion
the World Health Organization
, people who retire at the age of sixty and do not work after that were 30% happier than those who continue to work after
retirement
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. Retirees,
therefore
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, should spend
this
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time
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 for travelling to new places and
also
Linking Words
 in physical activities like Yoga and Meditation that can improve their health.
Furthermore
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, after
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retirement individuals
Accept comma addition
retirement, individuals
 can involve themselves in taking care of their grandchildren and being a mentor to them.
In other words
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, Senior citizens possess a vast amount of
life
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 experience and it can be utilized best when they share it with youngsters; they can guide them in achieving their
life
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 goals.
For instance
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, in our society, we have a club of retired people who help youngsters by guiding them to take the right decisions for their future. To conclude, once individuals reach the age of
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retirement they
Accept comma addition
retirement, they
 have worked enough and they should spend the rest of their lives doing activities that make them happy.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they can help youngsters in achieving their
life
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 goals.
Submitted by atifalvi143 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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