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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows changes in modes of transport chosen by travellers in a European country from 1950 to 1990. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows changes in modes of transport chosen by travellers in a European country from 1950 to 1990. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#changes #modes #transport #travellers #european #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given bar chart provides the information modes of transport and year chosen by
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of
travellers
Use synonyms
 in a European country
from
Change preposition
between
show examples
 1950 and 1990.
Overall
Linking Words
, the graph reveals that in modes
chose
Wrong verb form
chosen
show examples
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 most of the
people
Use synonyms
 car of
travellers
Use synonyms
 since 1990,
while
Linking Words
 the
bikes
Use synonyms
 and foot were
people
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
travelled by over the two periods and
slightly
Change the word
slight
show examples
 change in modes of transport used by
bus
Use synonyms
. As can be seen from the chart reveals that 20% person
chosen
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
 by
bus
Use synonyms
 in 1950,
while
Linking Words
 car 8%
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
bikes
Use synonyms
 32%, and 40%
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 selected
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
walking, but, the least of
people
Use synonyms
 used
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
bikes
Use synonyms
 and walking in 1990 and the contrast period of 17%
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to walk. In 1970, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 sharply inclined 32%
travelled
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 by
bus
Use synonyms
 and 28%
travelled
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 by
cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
, the used by the
people
Use synonyms
 declined
22
Change preposition
by 22
show examples
% travelled by
Use synonyms
bikes
Fix the agreement mistake
bike
show examples
. The below period used in
travellers
Use synonyms
 inclined, but the period declined in 23%
people
Use synonyms
 chose the other transport system. In 1990, the graph showed the number of
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
used
Correct pronoun usage
who used
show examples
 to travel by car,
while
Linking Words
 the mode chosen
approximately
Add a missing verb
was approximately
show examples
 17% by
bus
Use synonyms
, and
bikes
Use synonyms
 and walking were opted for, by around 10% of
travellers
Use synonyms
 each.
Submitted by bachchanaznin on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words travellers, people, bikes, bus with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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