IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people believe that happiness is a person responsibility while other thinks it’s depend on other factors.Do you agree or disagree.

#people #happiness #person #responsibility #it’s #factors
It is generally accepted by a group of society that we are responsible for our happiness.
On the other hand
, some argue that
this
is depend
Suggestion
depends
 on other things.
This
 is prevalent conviction among them, my perspective is that in
this
 concurrent world, people self responsible for their pleasure.
This
 essay will illustrate all the possible points for my standpoint.
To begin
 with, there are several of reasons why we are responsible for own gladness.
First
 of all, we are living in a fast paced era.Everyone busy in their own lives so no one have time for anyone.Therefor, we have to make our life happy without anyone help or hope.
For instance
, when we are free from my work and have time, maybe
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 person busy in their deeds.
Instead
 of waiting for them, we can do everything which makes us happy.
In addition
,
Accept space
,
everyone knows their self better than anyone else.So when you we get time and do our favourite thinks that gives us a great amount of pleasure.
Moreover
, earlier people gave a lot of
importantance
 to their relationships which is changed nowadays.People become selfish.
First they
Accept comma addition
First, they
givefirst
Suggestion
give first
 preference to
theirself
Suggestion
their self
 after others and jealous level is very high.Now, they do not want to see their dear ones happy.
That is
 why a person responsible for happiness in
this
 selfish world. In conclusion, it is clear from the given reasons that we are responsible for our well-being and gladness.So people should always depend on their own in matters of happiness

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: