IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

STUDENTS SHOULD BE TAUGHT ACADEMIC KNOWLEDGE SO THAT THEY CAN PASS EXAMS, AND SKILLS SUCH AS COOKING OR DRESSING SHOULD NOT BE TAUGHT. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE/DISAGREE

#students #exams #skills
Nowadays, the society is demanding more and more young people to be taught and successful in the academic fields and
knowledge
. Academic
knowledge
 is very necessary in schools and high level educations. But some people claim that schools should eliminate all non-academic subjects in order to give children a full concentration
on
Suggestion
of
 academic
knowledge
.
However
, not everyone agrees with
this
 way of dividing up the school day. Personally, I disagree with
this
 opinion for several reasons which will be
analyzed
examined carefully and methodically; broken down for consideration of constituent parts
analysed
 in
this
 essay.
First
 of all, learning non-academic subjects
brings
Suggestion
bring
 many benefits for students. If skills
such
 as cooking and dressing or physical
education
 is removed from the syllabus
,
Accept space
,
 there will be considerable negative effects on students.
For example
, When students attend physical
education
 close, they can improve their physical and mental which help them study effectively.
Moreover
, when they join other non-academic courses
such
 as cookery and dressing, they can have time for relaxation and exhilarating or
redme
Suggestion
red me
 stress.
However
, one
can not
can not
cannot
 neglect the point of view that
education
 is so
consequential that
Accept comma addition
consequential, that
 students must be pushed as hard as possible to achieve their best. Academic
knowledge
 should be not effortless to pass exams. That's
way
the cause or intention underlying an action or situation, especially in the phrase 'the whys and wherefores'
why
 students must be learn academic
knowledge
. According to
this
 point of view, children's need to spend their entire school day learning math, science and history. Devoting time to these subjects is the best way to prepare children for their future University
education
. In conclusion, there is no
point eliminating
Accept comma addition
point, eliminating
 non-academic subjects from the syllabus. I definitely believe that both academic and non-academic subjects should be well come in all schools.
Submitted by sherzodmaxammadjonov1181 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: