IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Companies should encourage employees who work in a high position to leave at the age of 55 in order to give opportunities to the new generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#companies #employees #work #position #age #opportunities #generation
Nowadays,
health
treatment
 involves enormous nations
health
 budget and it should be invested over
health
 education as well as for precautionary measures. In my opinion, I fully agree with the fact and feel prevention is always better than cure. In
this
 essay, I will postulate both these points with relevant examples.
First
 of all,
Health
 education is badly needed to improve the quality of life. People from rural areas are unaware of the fact as a corollary to that they face
health
-related issues.
For instance
, according to the recent survey, near about 60% of the people left untreated from mild to severe communicable and non- communicable diseases due to lack of awareness.
However
, they must get the education with proper knowledge of
sanitization
making something sanitary (free of germs) as by sterilizing
sanitisation
On the other hand
, Government vaccination programs are
also
 motivating. If somebody follows the same,
then
 they can safeguard his or her life from the deadly threat in the future.
Moreover
, it costs an arm and a leg over
health
treatment
. If people will get cautious
then
 half of the problem will get resolved altogether.
Nevertheless
, there are some cases where emergency
treatment
 is
also
 mandatory. The empirical research suggests that the cost of
treatment
 behind a single patient can lead to educate and create awareness programs in a village
for
being one more than three
four
 to 2 months. To recapitulate, preventive measures are recommended
instead
 of neglecting the early stage diagnosis. In essence, the investment must be done to educate a destitute society which will lead to bring down the large cost of
treatment
.
Submitted by abhisek3112 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: