IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Do you believe that Professional athletes make good role models for young people? Support your opinion with reasons and examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#athletes #role #models #people #support
The opinion that specialized athletes can be good
role
 models for the young depends on the athletes how behaves in their normal life. If a Professional
athlete
 has some features
such
 as being
skillful
 in his
/
her field, being helpful for other people or providing
source
Suggestion
sources
 for the people who need help, young people will want to
immitate
reproduce someone's behavior or looks
imitate
 or to see as a
role
model
this
athlete
. It can be said that
this
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 is normal.
On the other hand
, provided that an
athlete
 who has some adverse specifications
such
 as gambling or cheating
in
Suggestion
on
 his
/
her realm, addicting some drugs or having worse appearance is thought to make
good
Suggestion
a good role model
role
model
 for the young,
this
 idea can be wrong. Young people can impress from Professional athletes and imitate them for popularity in their surroundings. The most noticeable reason for
this
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 is that athletes earn a lot of Money and spend their Money for luxury life. But
this
 imitation can cause very dangerous results for young people’s
life
Accept comma addition
life, such
such
 as deep depression or lack of self confidence and self-esteem. And in the end of the
depression even
Accept comma addition
depression, even
 committing suicide. In view of all these reasons,
this
 subject has two-side about being
role
Suggestion
a role model
role models
model
. If the young pursue a Professional
athlete
 for his
/
her ambition in his
/
her helpful
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviours
for
Suggestion
of
 people, these youngs can track the
athlete
 as a
role
model
. But unlike in
this
 situation, the young person has to change his
/
her glance in choosing a
role
model
 for himself
/
herself.
Submitted by ihsansahin80 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: