IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Do you believe that Professional athletes make good role models for young people? Support your opinion with reasons and examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#athletes #role #models #people #support
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The opinion that specialized athletes can be good
role
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 models for the young depends on the athletes how behaves in their normal life. If a Professional
athlete
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 has some features
such
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 as being
skillful
Suggestion
 in his
/
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her field, being helpful for other people or providing
source
Suggestion
sources
 for the people who need help, young people will want to
immitate
reproduce someone's behavior or looks
imitate
 or to see as a
role
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model
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this
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athlete
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. It can be said that
this
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behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 is normal.
On the other hand
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, provided that an
athlete
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 who has some adverse specifications
such
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 as gambling or cheating
in
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on
 his
/
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her realm, addicting some drugs or having worse appearance is thought to make
good
Suggestion
a good role model
role
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model
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 for the young,
this
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 idea can be wrong. Young people can impress from Professional athletes and imitate them for popularity in their surroundings. The most noticeable reason for
this
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behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 is that athletes earn a lot of Money and spend their Money for luxury life. But
this
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 imitation can cause very dangerous results for young people’s
life
Accept comma addition
life, such
such
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 as deep depression or lack of self confidence and self-esteem. And in the end of the
depression even
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depression, even
 committing suicide. In view of all these reasons,
this
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 subject has two-side about being
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role
Suggestion
a role model
role models
model
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. If the young pursue a Professional
athlete
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 for his
/
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her ambition in his
/
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her helpful
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviours
for
Suggestion
of
 people, these youngs can track the
athlete
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 as a
role
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model
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. But unlike in
this
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 situation, the young person has to change his
/
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her glance in choosing a
role
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model
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 for himself
/
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herself.
Submitted by ihsansahin80 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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