IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The first pie
chart
Use synonyms
 illustrates the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption whilst the
second
Linking Words
chart
Use synonyms
 demonstrates the data on
green house
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
show examples
gas
Use synonyms
 emissions by the respective
activities
Use synonyms
 in an average Australian family.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the
energy
Use synonyms
 used in heating
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
show examples
 the major part, the
activity
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
that contributes
show examples
contributes
Wrong verb form
contributing
show examples
 the largest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
green house
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
show examples
ga
Correct your spelling
gas
 emission is
water
Use synonyms
 heating.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
, if an
activity
Use synonyms
 consumes much
energy
Use synonyms
, it is not sufficient to make sure that it emits the largest amount of
green house
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
show examples
gas
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 nearly
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half
Use synonyms
 of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 (42%) is spent on heating, only 15%
Use synonyms
greenhouse
Change preposition
of greenhouse
show examples
gas
Use synonyms
emitted
Add a missing verb
is emitted
show examples
 by
this
Linking Words
activity
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 and
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 approximately the same for
water
Use synonyms
 heating (30%,
32
Correct word choice
and 32
show examples
% respectively) and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cooling (2%,
3
Correct word choice
and 3
show examples
% respectively).
Besides
Linking Words
, there are some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
activities
Add an article
the activities
show examples
Change preposition
in that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
proportion
Use synonyms
 is just nearly
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
 of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 they emit,
such
Linking Words
 as refrigeration, lighting and other appliances. The first pie
chart
Use synonyms
 illustrates the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption whilst the
second
Linking Words
chart
Use synonyms
 demonstrates the data on
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 emissions by the respective
activities
Use synonyms
 in an average Australian family.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the
energy
Use synonyms
 used in heating keeps the major part, the
activity
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
that contributes
show examples
contributes
Wrong verb form
contributing
show examples
 the largest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
 is
water
Use synonyms
 heating.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 means, if an
activity
Use synonyms
 consumes much
energy
Use synonyms
, it is not sufficient to make sure that it emits the largest amount of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 nearly
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half
Use synonyms
 of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 (42%) is spent on heating, only 15%
Use synonyms
greenhouse
Change preposition
of greenhouse
show examples
gas
Use synonyms
emitted
Add a missing verb
is emitted
show examples
 by
this
Linking Words
activity
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 and
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 approximately the same for
water
Use synonyms
 heating (30%,
32
Correct word choice
and 32
show examples
%, respectively) and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cooling (2%,
3
Correct word choice
and 3
show examples
% respectively).
Besides
Linking Words
, there are some of the
activities
Use synonyms
 that
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
proportion
Use synonyms
 is just nearly
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
 of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 they emit,
such
Linking Words
 as refrigeration, lighting and other appliances.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, besides, on the other hand, overall, second, such, while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, proportion, energy, gas, activities, activity, water, half, greenhouse, use with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 10 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Average Australian household
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Energy consumption
  • Activities
  • Heating
  • Cooling
  • Water heating
  • Appliances
  • Lighting
  • Standby
  • Percentage (%)
  • Consumption patterns
  • Efficiency
  • Emissions impact
  • Renewable energy
  • Energy-saving measures
  • Sustainability
  • Carbon footprint
  • Electricity
  • Natural gas
  • Emissions breakdown
  • Energy audit
  • Environmental impact
  • Conservation
  • Mitigation strategies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: