The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals, of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.
The provided pie charts illustrate datum of the average percentages in typical meals of the three types of nutrients all of which are likely eaten too much based on
sodium
, saturated fat and added sugars consumed in the USA.
Overall
, undoubtedly I can say that,
Remove the comma
apply
in
Change preposition
apply
sodium
and saturated fat occupied the highest position is
dinner Correct your spelling
in
as well as
in added sugar section is snack
. Add an article
a snack
Opposite
side, breakfast is the lowest sector in all of the parts without Add an article
The opposite
sodium
that
is Correct pronoun usage
which
Add an article
a snack
snack
.
Fix the agreement mistake
snacks
TO
start with, multifarious typical meals consumed in the USA. Fast of all, Correct your spelling
To
in
the Change preposition
apply
sodium
hitting a low point are snack
and breakfast these rates are individually 14% Fix the agreement mistake
snacks
percent
. After that, lunch Change the spelling
per cent
as well as
at the end
of dinners is express
top one figure. Wrong verb form
expressed
This
rate
both Fix the agreement mistake
rates
are
29% and 43%. The Saturated fat ratio is a bit higher compared to Unnecessary verb
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
sodium
. In saturated fat snack
and breakfast’s
rates Change noun form
breakfast
are
rise a little more slowly and the Unnecessary verb
apply
second
part dinner and lunch going into downward rather than sodium
. Finally
added sugar all of the sectors’ ratio
are completely changed compared to Fix the agreement mistake
ratios
above-sited
Correct article usage
the above-sited
others
sectors. End of Correct quantifier usage
apply
research
those Correct article usage
the research
sectors
percentages are 21%, 16%, 26%, and 37% in Change noun form
sectors'
snack
, breakfast, lunch and dinner.Fix the agreement mistake
snacks
Submitted by aalruhul on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, snack with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentages" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼