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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays education quality is very low. Some people think we should encourage our students to evaluate and criticise their teachers others believe that it will result in a loss of respect and disciyin the classroom. Discuss both the sides.

#education #quality #people #students #criticise #teachers #loss #respect #disciyin #classroom
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Finding ways to improve educational
element
Fix the agreement mistake
elements
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 is often one of the top priorities in every education system. In some cultures, high school
students
 are encouraged to give their opinions about
teachers
, but I believe that
this
 can
also
 give rise to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of respect and discipline in the classroom. On the one hand, it is true that feedback from learners may contribute to an improvement in educational quality. In many cases, the level of comprehension of
students
 relies very much not on the content of the practice but on the way
teachers
 conduct it. If,
for example
, the class is slow, it will be ineffective for
teachers
teach
Fix the infinitive
to teach
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 too fast so that most
students
 fail to retain the information. Without the comments of
students
, it would be difficult to know whether the speed of the lesson is appropriate for the class, which may eventually impair the nature of the exercise.
However
, there are several drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
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 allowing
students
 to make comments and criticism on their
teachers
.
Firstly
,
teachers
 can be vulnerable to the negative words of
students
. Many will feel that their efforts in delivering the reading deserve praise rather than criticism or any form of feedback.
This
 idea is commonly shared by
teachers
 in the education systems of many Asian countries.
Secondly
, the classroom may be in chaos
due to
massive
Correct article usage
the massive
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of comments. Opinions vary from
students
Fix the agreement mistake
student
show examples
 to
students
Fix the agreement mistake
student
show examples
, and it would be impractical for
teachers
 to work out a way of teaching that can satisfy all
students
. In conclusion, it seems to me that encouraging high school
students
 to comment about their
teachers
 does not necessarily mean an improvement in character education.
Submitted by chaudharibhavanaben98 on

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task response
The introduction and conclusion are present but need further development. The main points are somewhat supported but the essay lacks clear comprehensive ideas and relevant specific examples. It is important to stay focused on the topic and provide more specific and relevant examples to support the arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure is somewhat clear but it could be improved with better organization and clearer linkage of ideas. The introduction and conclusion need further development to provide a better framework for the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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