IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given pie chart represents the use of
energy
Use synonyms
 by an average Australian household and
emission
Correct article usage
the emission
show examples
 of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 from the use of
energy
Use synonyms
 respectively. An average Australian household uses the highest amount of
energy
Use synonyms
 (42%) for heating
while
Linking Words
 water heating consumes 30% of
energy
Use synonyms
. Refrigeration, lighting, and cooling consume 7%, 4% and 2% of
energy
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
 cooling consumes the least amount of
energy
Use synonyms
 and the other appliances consume 15% of
energy
Use synonyms
. Every
energy
Use synonyms
 used caused the emission of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the
second
Linking Words
 chart, refrigeration and lighting contribute 14% and 8% of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 even though they consume only 7% and 4% of
energy
Use synonyms
. Water heating adds 32% of the total
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 emissions
while
Linking Words
 heating adds
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
15% of the emissions.
While
Linking Words
 other appliances used only 15% of the
energy
Use synonyms
 they produced 28% of the total
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 emissions.
Thus
Linking Words
, water heating contributes to the highest
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 lighting shares the lowest.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "thus, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, greenhouse, gas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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