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Writing Samples
Band 4

describe your leisure time and give your opinion about positive side and negative side to have too much leisure time.

#leisure #time #side
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Hello everyone! I am a beginner in Ielts and I hope all members in
group
Suggestion
the group
 help me to improve four skills in English. Today, I would like to tell you about my
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
.
Leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 is very necessary for many people in the world after stressful work and study. There are many ways to entertain
such
Linking Words
 as
:
Accept space
:
 listening to
music
Use synonyms
, reading
book
Suggestion
books
, cooking some dishes you like, going to the countryside and visiting relatives, going out with friends...In my spare
time
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, I usually listen to
music
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 and I can say that it is my favourite
leisure
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 activities. I began
listen
Suggestion
to listen
listening
 to
music
Use synonyms
 when I was 12 years old, I like listening to
english
an Indo-European language belonging to the West Germanic branch; the official language of Britain and the United States and most of the commonwealth countries
English
music
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 because there are many benefits.
Everyday
Suggestion
Every day
, I spend two to five minutes listening to English
music
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 and it helps me to learn a lot of vocabulary. I often listen some songs
such
Linking Words
 as: The spectre, On my way
,
Accept space
,
All falls down...The other reason why that I love listening to
music
Use synonyms
 is that it makes me feel relax and happy after studying hard. I prefer to stay at home than go out in the evening because I can do a lot of things when I stay at home
such
Linking Words
 as
:
Accept space
:
 doing DIY, drawing pictures with
mt
of me or myself
my
 sister.. Technology is developing day by day so many young people usually stay at home and play game online
,
Accept space
,
chat with their friends
in
Suggestion
on
 Facebook. Lifestyle
nowaday
the period of time that is happening now; any continuous stretch of time including the moment of speech
nowadays
 is more modern than in the past so many people spend
time
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 enjoying new
technology but
Accept comma addition
technology, but
 I still enjoy going to the countryside and
remind
recall knowledge from memory; have a recollection
remember
 my childhood, I feel very happy and peaceful. In my
view point
a mental position from which things are viewed
viewpoint
, there are positive side and negative about having
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
. Let's begin by looking at
advantages
Suggestion
the advantages
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, having
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 helps people relax and feel happy.
Secondly
Linking Words
, when they play
game
Suggestion
games
 online in computer- it is the play where
thay
people in general
they
 can reveal the personality in the virtual world.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, having much
leisure
Use synonyms
time
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 come with
string
Suggestion
a string
the string
 of bad points
such
Linking Words
 as
:
Accept space
:
 boredom
,
Accept space
,
anxienty
(psychiatry) a relatively permanent state of worry and nervousness occurring in a variety of mental disorders, usually accompanied by compulsive behavior or attacks of panic
anxiety
 even depression. It can lead to bad behaviour
,
Accept space
,
lack of focus as well as
disapline
a branch of knowledge
discipline
. I wish I would return to my childhood and have fun and healthy as kids now.
Submitted by vibe on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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