Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievments and this sets a bad example to young people

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievments #sets #people

In recent decades, there is a little doubt that celebrities are popular with their wealth and allure

instead

of their achievements. Some people argue that it has a bad impact to adolescents.

However

, I partially agree with the main idea.

This

essay will analyse my personal perspective with an apt example.

First

of all, it is undeniable that there are some celebrities who do not mind engaging in acts that typically considered disgraceful only to grab eyeballs.

For instance

; Paris Hilton, The Kardashian family, they are only well known due to their wealth and their family's reputation.They attend to award shows or talk shows in order to illustrate their fancy dresses, jewelleries and they do everything to keep fit even with the help of surgeries.

Moreover those

Accept comma addition

Moreover, those

celebrities encourage fake beauty, but no one is perfect and nobody can be.

In addition

, people tend to behave and learn from their stars, and when

their

people in general

they

celebrities behave badly because of the insufficient education and lack of acknowledgement,

this

may result in social evils in society of youngsters.

On the other hand

, some stars can be great role models for today's society as they teach people pertinent lesson.

Furthermore

, following their footprints can result in exploring their own talent which can show

further

case marvels and brilliance. To recapitulate, the aforementioned effects plausible in favour of both views. From my point of view, there are some benefits of following the superstars

however it

Accept comma addition

however, it

cannot overshadow the egregious impacts.

That is

why I believe that nowadays celebrities set as a bad role model for teenagers.

Submitted by asrorovahilola1811 on Wed Apr 01 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievments and this sets a bad example to young people

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?