Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both school and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the issue of maintaining a healthy
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
for
Suggestion
in
children is controversial. Many children have a better
lifestyle
Use synonyms
due to the improvement of technology and the environment he is surrounded by.
However
Linking Words
, some children suffer from man disease
as a result
Linking Words
of their unhealthy
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
and
by
Suggestion
from
the wrong use of using modern technology. I believe that parents and teachers are responsible for these children's lives.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they should take certain steps to remedy
this
Linking Words
situation. A child's parent holds full responsibility for how his child functions, grows, and mature.
In addition
Linking Words
, most children view their parents as their superhero; and as a role model they have a huge impact on their children especially in young ages.
Linking Words
Therefore parents
Accept comma addition
Therefore, parents
should watch what they do and be careful about what things they are transferred to their own children.The
first
Linking Words
step parents should be aware of is that they have to know what kind of
food
Use synonyms
enters the house and what kind of diet their children prefer. They should
also
Linking Words
reduce the amount of junk
food
Use synonyms
their children eat in order to secure a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, they could switch junk
food
Use synonyms
to healthier alternatives that contain 0 sugar and fat and are all organic based. Technology has taken a huge part in our lives. It made children not only addicted to these types of technology, but it
also
Linking Words
made them lazy. As of
this
Linking Words
problem, parents should limit the time used on the phones and
Ipads
Suggestion
iPads
pads
iPod
and focus more on the time they should spend together.There are
also
Linking Words
many other ways that will change some children's habits. If taken seriously, parents would be able to maintain a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
for their own children in a short period of time. Schools are a
second
Linking Words
home.Children are likely to attain new habits in school than in their own houses.
This
Linking Words
means teachers gain a responsibility for changing these children's minds and help them learn new aspects that will help them gain a perfect way of living. Teachers should
help
Suggestion
Help
acquire new habits by developing scientific materials that require movement so it will help to nourish brain activity. In
this
Linking Words
way children would be able to move their bodies more often which will reduce obesity and other diseases experienced by an unhealthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, there should be a variation in sports played in physical education classes.Schools should
also
Linking Words
ban junk
food
Use synonyms
to be sold in the school cafeterias and focus more on organic
food
Use synonyms
.Schools should
also
Linking Words
provide awareness through activities and programmes.
Linking Words
for
Suggestion
For
instance, the could provide courses for parents on how to raise their children the healthy way.
In other words
Linking Words
, schools play a vital role in making their students live a healthy life. Briefly, children
are
Suggestion
is
likely to adapt new ways of living from things they learn from people they are in contact with.
For instance
Linking Words
, their teachers and parents. I really believe they hold a huge responsibility in changing these children's lives.If these steps were taken,
this
Linking Words
will not only help raise awareness, but it will help build their future.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: