Many parents complain that computer games have no value to their children’s study. On the contrary those online games have produced a lot of negative effects on their mental and physical development . What is your opinion

It’s no news that computer games are one of the trending activities practice today. The purpose of the game is for recreation, but recent reports have shown how addicting
this
plural of "this"
these
activities are. Researched
made
United States general in charge of the Union troops at the Battle of Gettysburg (1815-1872)
Meade
reported that the psychological dependency on
this
plural of "this"
these
games are creating a
bane
forbid the public distribution of(a movie or a newspaper)
ban
on the mental and psychical development of children.
However
the the
definite article
the
addiction caused by
this activities
Suggestion
these activities
this activity
makes children psychologically dependent on it
.
Accept space
.
He/she would develop an addiction to playing
this games
Suggestion
this game
these games
and creating lesser time for academics and physical activities,
such
addiction will cause a stray from their academic performance in school and a daunting social interaction with people
.
Accept space
.
To illustrate, a certain
parents
Suggestion
parent
reported their 9 years old son to the government authority because he couldn’t be contained any more
.
Accept space
.
Further
investigations were made that the boy was antisocial and addicted to video games
,
Accept space
,
at an earlier age, he was diagnosed with a mental illness and was referred to a therapy centre.
More over
in addition
Moreover
,
Accept space
,
Most computer games indulge in violent actions and character
,
Accept space
,
knowing how quickly children Mimic their favourite roles.
This
negative trait developed could make children expose to vulgarity and if intended might lead to a mental illness
.
Accept space
.
For instance
,
Accept space
,
True-Die, a popular video game that causes hysteria in parents because the motive of the final lap was a suicidal mission
,
Accept space
,
imagine what damage
this
might have caused in the psychological and physical development in children. In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
video games have increasingly affected the development of children
.
Accept space
.
It’s havoc
is of great effect and I suggest
Suggestion
is of great effect and I suggested
is of great effect and I suggest
that parents should encourage physical activities
to
Suggestion
with
their children
.
Accept space
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Improve your IELTS writing score within two weeks
After you write your essay, you will be provided with tips with examples of how to make your essay better in order to get a score above 7.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Type your essay and get a band score instantly
Just type your IELTS essay and receive a clear, detailed report and band score in a moment.