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Writing Samples
Band 5

The table below gives information about rail transport in four countries in 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main deatures, and make comparisions where relevant. Write atleast 150 words.

The table below gives information about rail transport in four countries in 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main deatures, and make comparisions where relevant. Write atleast 150 words.
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The table below demonstrates the data about rail transportation across Malaysia,
Canada
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,
China
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 and the
UAE
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 in the year
of
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apply
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2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, the Chinese were the largest users of the railways,
whereas
Linking Words
 Canadians hardly used
this
Linking Words
 mode of transport.
However
Linking Words
, the usage of the rail network for
cargo
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 was the highest in
Canada
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. Malaysia and the
UAE
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 had almost similar figures. Focusing on
China
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 and
Canada
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, railways were quite popular among the people of
China
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 with about 27% of them using it, which is about ninety times higher than that of
Canada
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. The average distance travelled by a citizen of the former was 1980 kilometres,
whereas
Linking Words
 the latter had only around 80 kilometres per head.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Canada
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 was the largest user of rail for the transportation of
cargo
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 with 2820 billion tons of material transported using
this
Linking Words
 network, a whopping
approximate
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approximately
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of
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apply
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125% more than
China
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. With regards to Malaysia and the
UAE
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, their numbers were almost the same with about 5.9% and 5.5% of the population respectively using trains for transport. In terms of
cargo
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, the
UAE
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 used trains to transport only 21.9 billion tons of
cargo
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, which is the lowest among all the countries compared.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words canada, china, uae, cargo with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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