IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

People who do not know how to use computer will become more and more disadvantaged. State the disadvantages and what action governments should take.

#people #computer #action #governments
In the past the popular sources of information were newspapers and books. With science and technology progress the things have been changing tremendously. Nowadays, most of people have
access
 to the
internet which
Accept comma addition
internet, which
 has become an integral part of our
lives
Suggestion
life
.
Although
 most of people can be considered as advanced computer users, there are some who don’t have any knowledge about
this
 invention. It is obvious, that people who don’t have computers are becoming more and more disadvantaged.
Firstly
, the number of
these
plural of that
those
 who read newspapers is continuously decreasing, so many publishers are closing their offices.
Thus
, there are less and less chances of getting information.
Secondly
,
access
 to the computers are beneficial to people who live far away from their relatives.
For instance
, the old people can visually communicate with their children and grandchildren using some
internet
 platforms,
thus
, be closer to their families while the thousand of miles split them up. To enlarge the number of people who have
access
 to the
internet
, governments should educate and encourage the citizens in all possible ways. In my opinion they can
enroll
register formally as a participant or member
enrol
 a computing subject it the schools, to advertise computers via television, to allow people
pay
Suggestion
to pay
 their bills online, propose the online shopping discounts for elderly, etc. In conclusion, I would like to emphasize that it is important to have
access
 to the new technologies and some knowledge of finding essential information. The more people will serf the
internet
, the more chances our lives will become even more convenient.
Submitted by gob.lviv on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: