In many countries Women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree ?

#countries #women #people #income #security #marriage

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In many

countries

Add a comma

countries,

show examples

Women

Use synonyms

no longer tend to get married. Some people believe that

this

Linking Words

is because

women

Use synonyms

are becoming more self-sufficient.

Thus

Linking Words

, the financial prosperity that

marriage

Use synonyms

can bring is no longer a momentous factor for them. I almost agree with the given statement but I

also

Linking Words

believe that there are more reasons for

this

Linking Words

reluctance. The importance of financial security for

women

Use synonyms

marriage

Use synonyms

used to be inevitable but nowadays with the economic development throughout the world and the rise of job opportunities and

leaving

Verb problem

living

show examples

costs, most of the

women

Use synonyms

are going to work and have a decent income.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they care less about livelihood as a pivotal factor for

marriage

Use synonyms

and put their concentration mostly on their career or studies

due to

Linking Words

the fact that the

marriage

Use synonyms

rate has decreased constantly over the past few years. There are

also

Linking Words

some other reasons for

this

Linking Words

unwillingness.

For instance

Linking Words

, one of them can be

over expectations

Add a hyphen

over-expectations

show examples

Women

Use synonyms

should be aware that Rome wasn’t built in a day and

that is

Linking Words

impossible to start a wonderful life at the very first. With

such

Linking Words

expectations

Add a comma

expectations,

show examples

it will be so difficult for them to say yes to a man's proposal and even more difficult for men to propose in the first place.

In addition

Linking Words

, a

marriage

Use synonyms

is not all about financial support. It is

also

Linking Words

about emotional support but in recent years most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people have relationships before they get married and

as a result

Linking Words

; emotional needs don’t play a major role in marriages anymore.

To conclude

Linking Words

, my firm conviction is that the main reason for

this

Linking Words

reluctance is

women

Use synonyms

's self-sufficiency but it is not

such

Linking Words

a disaster that they don’t feel the need to get married. It is even good to an extent because

due to

Linking Words

that they can leave traditions behind and think more intellectually about

marriage

Use synonyms

and care more about moralities and emotions regardless of materials.

Submitted by aparna4691 on Sat Apr 04 2020

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

317 words

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In many countries Women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree ?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

the natyral procees illustrate biofuel making. summaruse the data

In some countries, people prefer to rent their home rather than buy one. What are some advantages and disadvantages renting a house?

Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress, and how can we reduce it?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extent you do agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in other countries. Discuss both views and give your opinion.