In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#world #animals #food #medicine

How could people exist without animals? Since primitive era,

human

Suggestion

humans

the human

had roasted wild animals for eating, wore raw

fur

for warming up in frosty winters, or used substances from

animal’s

Suggestion

animal

parts as a medicine for curing.

However

, these days, some opinions propose that people no longer need to use these wild species in some purpose of food, clothing or medication.

Suggestion

From

my own point of view,

besides

unnecessary need

Suggestion

the unnecessary need

such

as clothes, animals play undoubtedly crucial roles in people’s lives. Back to

ancient period

Suggestion

the ancient period

, when human did not

discovered

Suggestion

discover

natural fabric originated from plants, they had to use leather or

fur

as the only warming method so as not to become numb with low temperature. Not only the purpose of maintaining heat for bodies, these clothes become

common

Suggestion

more common

and more and more luxury attracting upper class due to their singularity. Thanks to

development

Suggestion

the development

of high-quality synthesized fabric production industry,

fur

clothes

seems

Suggestion

seem

needless and even cruel to kill a crocodile or a snake for skin only, or hunt tigers, bears for producing coats while human are totally able to replace by artificial iridescent fabric customs. Despite

negative aspects

Suggestion

the negative aspects

of using animals for clothing, people could not live without animals, especially their unique substances. Animal

protein

sources

such

as meat, fish, poultry, eggs and dairy are considered to be complete sources of

protein

because they contain all the essential amino acids that body needs to function effectively.

Protein

deficiency makes children physically and mentally underdeveloped, kids are susceptible to infections, intelligence is easily

affect

Suggestion

affected

badly as well as low height. Not only

protein

, some kinds of wild species release some secretions which enable to cure

human’s

Suggestion

human

diseases

such

as bile bear, snake venom or tiger bone glue. These ingredients are used in the market due to their good effects in treatment that people have not found out

better remedy

Suggestion

a better remedy

for substituting. In conclusion,

although

it is not necessary to use wild species’

fur

or skin for the purpose of clothing, I outweigh

positive benefits

Suggestion

the positive benefits

from animals. Nutritious substances from

them especially

Accept comma addition

them, especially

protein

is so crucial to human’s body that a child cannot develop normally with the lack of animal

protein

Moreover

, medicines originated from animals are common in curing some diseases.

Sat Apr 04 2020

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Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

370 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people are making new friends by socializing network websites and internet chat rooms. Some people say that this is a good thing. Other people opine that people should make new friends by face to face chat. Discuss both views and given your own opinion

Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

why do most young people are likely to use the internet?

You would like to invite your friend from abroad to a public event in your country. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter describe the public event explain why you think he/she would like the event write how you can help your friend with accommodation

Some think that experiment done on animals are cruel so it should be prohibited. To what extend do you agree?