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Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this?

#countries #proportion #acts #teenagers
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Crimes committed by adolescents are very popular and crucial in some countries.  I think that the main contributor of
this
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 issue is their friends, peers, as well as their parents. 
However
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, in my opinion, teenagers' parents should be punished with light imprisonment or a fine. Friends who urge some teenagers to turn to
crime
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 can be a reason of
this
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 issue.
As a result
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 of
this
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, juvenile
delinquency
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 is increasing day-to-day.
Furthermore
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, because of negligence of some parents, teens lead a life of
crime
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. In my view, they should be strict towards their children's
friends
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friend's
friends'
 behaviour.
For example
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, according to the Russian Prevention Organisation, a perceptible part of teenagers committed burglary and shoplifting, serious types of
crime
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. In 2015,
this
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 index demonstrated a
two-fold
twice as great or many
twofold
 ascend among underage
delinquency
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. The main solution of juvenile
delinquency
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 is to accuse their parents for a short-term imprisonment or to pay a great deal of surcharge. As an outcome, parents start to notice strictly towards their children
since
Suggestion
for
 their
crime
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. In my opinion, detention of parents can be an effective option against the process of underage crimes. In some developed countries, teenagers committed
crime
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 are arrested and convicted their parents for a
crime
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 by the government due to their
children
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child's
child
delinquency
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.
This
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 is because, teen's  behaviour depends on parents upbringing, and they should control them despite all work and problems. To conclude, the factor of underage
crime
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 is to lead a bad company, which discourage some teens. In order to prevent the very
crime
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, government should punish parents, it can be a feasible approach, in my opinion.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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