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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives the information about science qualification held by people in two countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives the information about science qualification held by people in two countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #science #qualification #people #two #countries #summarise #features #comparisons
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The bar graph depicts the proportion of people in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and
Singapore
Use synonyms
 who hold
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Add an article
a qualification
the qualification
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qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
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 in
science
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. It is clear from the graph that the majority of individuals in
both
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 the nation
have
Change the verb form
has
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 no
science
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qualification
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. In
Malaysia
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, around one-
third
Linking Words
 of people
holds
Change the verb form
hold
show examples
science
Use synonyms
qualification
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 in school leaving exams, which is 3% higher than
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Singapore
Change preposition
in Singapore
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.
Similarly
Linking Words
, one-fifth of the population in
Singapore
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 achieve a bachelor's in
science
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 only
only
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
one-tenth from
Malaysia
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 in
this
Linking Words
 field. The percentage of individuals who hold a master's degree in
science
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 level is almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 in the two countries, which is 5% respectively.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that more than half of the population in
both
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 the country has no
qualification
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 in
science
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 in any academic
programs
Fix the agreement mistake
program
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the percentage of people who attain a master's degree in
science
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 in
both
Use synonyms
Malaysia
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 and
Singapore
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 are absolutely
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 and
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is the lowest rate of
both
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 the region.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words malaysia, singapore, qualification, science, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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