Some people say that physical exercise should be a required part of school day. Other believe that students should spend the whole day on academic studies. Which opinion do you agree with? Use specific reason and details to support your answer.

Personal training is
essential
Add an article
an essential
show examples
part of education. There are many people who think, that
pupil's
Change the noun form
pupils
pupil
show examples
should focus on academic studies during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school hours and in
this
essay I will support my view with examples. On the one hand, those who believe physical training is avoided in school might argue that it can ruin their academic
lesson's
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lessons
show examples
.
This
is because
such
disputes can create pressure on the students.
For example
, it is quite common for young people
to begin
smoking to get rid
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of
this
problem, but the resulting confrontations with tutors can lead to difficulties with communication afterwards.
In contrast
, if there is no physical activity in their
curriculam
Correct your spelling
curriculum
, there will be a much greater sense of
hapiness
Correct your spelling
happiness
among people.
On the other hand
, my view is that
this
physical exercise is important in school because it can help teenagers to get out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
hectic
schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
show examples
. The reason for
this
is that by having sports they can develop their skills.
For instance
, a child may grow up in a family of
footballer
Fix the agreement mistake
footballers
show examples
but feel very strongly about
workout
Correct your spelling
working
show examples
. If
this
child does not voice their opinion, they will be going against their
priciples
Correct your spelling
principles
.
However
, if they are willing to engage in physical training with their academic studies, their conscience will be much clearer despite the agony of the argument. In conclusion, despite the danger of damaging
pupils
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pupils'
pupil's
show examples
talent, it is my firm belief that
along with
education extra activities are significant for becoming mature and
independently-minded
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independent-minded
show examples
adults.
Submitted by meetdesai126 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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