It is more important for school children to learn about local history than world history. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people have valued the role of local
history
Use synonyms
to schoolchildren over that of world
history
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I disagree with those people as both of them are equally essential for young learners. Studying the
history
Use synonyms
of their hometown is for sure an indispensable part of
school’s curriculum
Suggestion
the school’s curriculum
a school’s curriculum
during students’ early education. I believe having thorough insights into what happened in the past at one’s locality
develops
Suggestion
developed
his patriotism.
For example
Linking Words
, children of primary and secondary schools in my village are taught about how their ancestors defended their land against outside intruders and reclaimed sovereignty.
Therefore
Linking Words
, those young children would take pride in their origin and treasure the life they have today.
Additionally
Linking Words
, I think it is not only students’
privilege but
Accept comma addition
privilege, but
also
Linking Words
their responsibility to know about their own
history
Use synonyms
to understand their hometown’s traditional values and identity. From another angle, learning about world
history
Use synonyms
shares equal importance just as local one. Acquiring knowledge about the world’s past events equips students with a more well-rounded perspective of life. Lessons about the World War or Feminism protest against women’s abuse and discrimination would help those learners enhance their understanding about various aspects of the world.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I think that being taught about the other countries’ historical backgrounds would benefit young learners in their future career. Students who accumulate knowledge of
this
Linking Words
particular field at an early age would possess a golden selling point to work for foreign enterprises, especially those who highly value company culture like Japan. In conclusion, I believe the significance of domestic and international
history
Use synonyms
cannot be brought into comparison to see which one is more necessary because they have distinctively equal meanings to children.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: