Some people say that parents shoudl encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #shoudl #children #part #group #activities #time

While there are people who believe that children should be encouraged to participate in organised group activities when they are free, other people say that it is vital for them to be able to occupy themselves on their own. In my opinion, I think both are very important for the growth of the children and they should find a balance between them. On the one hand, it is essential for children

to join

Suggestion

joining

some organised group activities to learn soft skills on how to interact with other people which is essential for their future development.

For example

, participating in a

sport

Suggestion

sports

team allows children to learn how to cooperate as a team, deal with conflicts and overcome failures through competitions. If they did not possess these soft skills, they would have difficulties to work with people in the future and would become more vulnerable to failures.

However

, learning to spend

time

by themselves is as important as learning in groups. Children who are able to manage their free

time

are more independent because they have the ability to decide what to do by themselves.

Moreover

this

is fast

pace

Suggestion

paced

era that we are always surrounded by people, it is essential for us to be able to spend

time

on our own to feel

refresh

Suggestion

refreshed

and

thus

to have a better mental health.

For instance

, yoga and meditation have become more popular in recent years. In conclusion, I think that children should learn how to find a balance between socialising in group activities and being by themselves in their free

time

in order to have

Suggestion

all-rounded development.

Sun Apr 05 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that parents shoudl encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You have just moved to a new place. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter. -tell him/her you moved and why you moved -describe the new place -invite your friend to visit and suggest what to do.

Some people think that getting old is a negative thing, whereas others think it is much easier for people to live in modern society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some feel governments, rather than private companies, should be in charge of medical services. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched places. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of damaging such areas?