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Writing Samples
Band 5

In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Do you agree or disagree?

#future #reason #mall #entertainment #shop
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In
upcoming decades
Suggestion
the upcoming decades
, shopping will be converted as an
entertainment
Use synonyms
 activity rather than purchasing merchandise. Shopping areas are now playing
pivotal role
Suggestion
a pivotal role
 in some customer’s life as a source of goods, while others accept shopping activity as an
entertainment
Use synonyms
. I believe that shopping mall might experience some changes.
However
Linking Words
, I will debate both sides of
argument
Suggestion
the argument
an argument
arguments
 and give my own view in
this
Linking Words
 essay. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand, some customers prefer shopping to
entertainment
Use synonyms
.
One
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 reason is that they
are usually tend
Suggestion
usually tend
 to select items and clothes with their friends. In my view, another
one
Use synonyms
 is that all shops specialize in
one
Use synonyms
 area.
For instance
Linking Words
, customers might be informed by shop assistant so as to enrich their limited knowledge of some items as well as purchasing what they need.
However
Linking Words
,
minority
Suggestion
a minority
the minority
 of people consider shopping as under
one
Use synonyms
 roof with
entertainment
Use synonyms
 due to the fact that people enjoy shopping as an
entertainment
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. In my opinion, people have sufficient
such
Linking Words
 activities as cinemas, fishing, riding, restaurants, et cetera to entertain themselves
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
vast majority
Suggestion
the vast majority
 of buyers will regard shopping as a great
entertainment
Use synonyms
 in order to have
relaxation
Suggestion
relaxed
 in the future. Because shopping areas will comprise fascinating performances, great shows, cinemas, fast food restaurants, etc. In
upcoming decades
Suggestion
the upcoming decades
 shopping will diminish its value owing to online shopping.
Such
Linking Words
 merits of online
shopping as
Accept comma addition
shopping, as
 saving time and economizing money will outweigh benefits of
shopping mall
Suggestion
a shopping mall
the shopping mall
. Some clients may recall shopping when they feel incredibly uptight so as to minimize stress. In conclusion, I would like to emphasize that shopping activities will undergo some changes. Shopping may replace its current purpose with
entertainment
Use synonyms
 facilities in upcoming decades.
Submitted by sherzod.sanatov on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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