Consumer goods have become the most important part of people’s lives. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
The issue
whether
Change preposition
of whether
consumerism
that has become part and parcel of Use synonyms
people
’s life could usher more positive or negative impact is certainly a contentious one. Even though a consumerist society might be a major contributor to Use synonyms
accumulation
of Correct article usage
the accumulation
litters
and Fix the agreement mistake
litter
materialistic
attitude, I firmly believe that Correct article usage
a materialistic
yielding
more job opportunities, Change preposition
by yielding
consumerism
could bring enhancement Use synonyms
in
the quality of individuals’ Change preposition
apply
lifestyle
.
On the one hand, Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
consumerism
can boost infrastructure Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
people
’s Use synonyms
life
by Fix the agreement mistake
lives
acquisition
of novel goods and Correct article usage
the acquisition
industrial
revolution. To be more precise, with Correct article usage
the industrial
an
advent of modernistic gadgets international communication in terms of trade and political relationships Correct article usage
the
have
been greatly revolutionized and made affordable. Correct subject-verb agreement
has
For instance
, with an eye to keeping in touch with Linking Words
loved-ones
or business partners, Correct your spelling
loved ones
people
can just utilize their mobile phones by instant messaging or video conferencing in a fraction of Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a minutes
minutes
and the cost as well. Fix the agreement mistake
minute
In addition
to Linking Words
this
, mass production and consumption could create more job vacancies by virtue of new domestic enterprise startups and competition amongst them. Linking Words
Hence
, the far better purchasing abilities consumers have, the more convenient the way Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
people
live will be.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, unnecessary consumption might lead to much more contamination as the majority of consumers in sophisticated states have become accustomed to Linking Words
throw-away
culture. Add an article
the throw-away
As a result
of the individuals emulating the actions towards other Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
surrounded
so as to promote their self-image, Verb problem
apply
the
surplus of commodities has been purchased, leading to Correct article usage
a
accumulation
of waste in unprecedented amounts. Correct article usage
the accumulation
Furthermore
, Linking Words
such
a consumerist society outlined above may cause Linking Words
materialistic
outlook, occurring on the account of money-oriented assessment of other Correct article usage
a materialistic
people
. Use synonyms
Nonetheless
, thanks to the immense contribution of Linking Words
consumerism
to Use synonyms
economy
its drawbacks could be somehow minimized.
By way of conclusion, Correct article usage
the economy
albeit
Change preposition
despite
such
dire aftermaths Linking Words
consumerism
Use synonyms
bring
as pollution and money-minded perspective, it is my conviction that ameliorating way of living in tandem with economic output, Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
consumerism
Use synonyms
influence
societies more positively, as its downsides could be construed as a natural phenomenon. .Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
However
, urgent steps Linking Words
require
to be taken in order to obviate Verb problem
need
Linking Words
further
degradation of consumerist society.Correct article usage
the further
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more clearly defined. Ensure that the essay's introduction clearly states the writer's position and the conclusion summarizes the main points and restates the writer's position.
task achievement
The essay mostly presents relevant ideas, but the response to the task could be more explicit. Ensure that the writer addresses all aspects of the task prompt and presents a clear position in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a generally logical structure, but some points could be made clearer and the development of ideas could be further improved. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are developed fully and coherently.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example