Consumer goods have become the most important part of people’s lives. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#consumer #goods #part #people’s #lives

The issue

whether

Change preposition

of whether

show examples

consumerism

that has become part and parcel of

people

’s life could usher more positive or negative impact is certainly a contentious one. Even though a consumerist society might be a major contributor to

accumulation

Correct article usage

the accumulation

show examples

litters

Fix the agreement mistake

litter

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and

materialistic

Correct article usage

a materialistic

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attitude, I firmly believe that

yielding

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by yielding

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more job opportunities,

consumerism

could bring enhancement

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the quality of individuals’

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

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. On the one hand,

consumerism

can boost infrastructure

as well as

improving

Wrong verb form

improve

show examples

people

’s

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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acquisition

Correct article usage

the acquisition

show examples

of novel goods and

industrial

Correct article usage

the industrial

show examples

revolution. To be more precise, with

Correct article usage

the

show examples

advent of modernistic gadgets international communication in terms of trade and political relationships

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

been greatly revolutionized and made affordable.

For instance

, with an eye to keeping in touch with

loved-ones

Correct your spelling

loved ones

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or business partners,

people

can just utilize their mobile phones by instant messaging or video conferencing in a fraction of

Correct article usage

a minutes

show examples

minutes

Fix the agreement mistake

minute

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and the cost as well.

In addition

this

, mass production and consumption could create more job vacancies by virtue of new domestic enterprise startups and competition amongst them.

Hence

, the far better purchasing abilities consumers have, the more convenient the way

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

live will be.

On the other hand

, unnecessary consumption might lead to much more contamination as the majority of consumers in sophisticated states have become accustomed to

throw-away

Add an article

the throw-away

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culture.

As a result

of the individuals emulating the actions towards other

people

surrounded

Verb problem

apply

show examples

so as to promote their self-image,

the

Correct article usage

show examples

surplus of commodities has been purchased, leading to

accumulation

Correct article usage

the accumulation

show examples

of waste in unprecedented amounts.

Furthermore

such

a consumerist society outlined above may cause

materialistic

Correct article usage

a materialistic

show examples

outlook, occurring on the account of money-oriented assessment of other

people

Nonetheless

, thanks to the immense contribution of

consumerism

economy

Correct article usage

the economy

show examples

its drawbacks could be somehow minimized. By way of conclusion,

albeit

Change preposition

despite

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such

dire aftermaths

consumerism

bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

show examples

as pollution and money-minded perspective, it is my conviction that ameliorating way of living in tandem with economic output,

consumerism

influence

Correct subject-verb agreement

influences

show examples

societies more positively, as its downsides could be construed as a natural phenomenon. .

However

, urgent steps

require

Verb problem

need

show examples

to be taken in order to obviate

further

Correct article usage

the further

show examples

degradation of consumerist society.

Sun Apr 05 2020

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more clearly defined. Ensure that the essay's introduction clearly states the writer's position and the conclusion summarizes the main points and restates the writer's position.

task achievement

The essay mostly presents relevant ideas, but the response to the task could be more explicit. Ensure that the writer addresses all aspects of the task prompt and presents a clear position in the introduction.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a generally logical structure, but some points could be made clearer and the development of ideas could be further improved. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are developed fully and coherently.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

344 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

convenience
improved living standards
ease of communication
variety of choices
increased productivity
waste generation
environmental impact
materialistic mindset
financial burden
inequality

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Consumer goods have become the most important part of people’s lives. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation?

In nearly all science courses at university, there are significantly more male students than female students. What is the reason for this? What could be done to balance out the number?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think thid is a positive or negative situation?

Some say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some cultures, chldren are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?