IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many parts of the world there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourage the young from taking part in any sport themselves. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

#parts #world #coverage #sport #television #people #discourage #part
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It is thought by some that young people don’t practice
sport
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 because of the huge amount of
sport
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 channels on the
television
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 in
lot
Suggestion
a lot
 of countries. Even though I agree that
television
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 makes people lazier, especially by watching professional athletes, there are other reasons why teenagers do not take part in
sport
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 activities.
People waste lot
Suggestion
People waste lots
 of
time
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 on the sofa watching the
television
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, preferring the
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sport
a point located with respect to surface features of some region
spot
 on the screen than practice activities themselves.
This
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 comes to be true
also
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 for young
people which
Accept comma addition
people, which
instead
Linking Words
 should be involved in physical activities both for health and socialisation issues.
For instance
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, football matches are followed by most and represent one of the main topics of discussion in
classroom
Suggestion
the classroom
 and outside. The
sport
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 in the
television
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 is always performed by high
levels
Suggestion
level
 athletes and
this
Linking Words
 can cause a loss of self-esteem.
Moreover
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, the
time
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 resource is limited and if young people spend a lot of
time
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 on
sport
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 channels, they do not have
time
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 to enjoying the outdoor activities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I believe that
also
Linking Words
 social networks and computer games contribute on the lost
time
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. Nowadays, young people are fully surrounded by technology and they prefer to be home and be “connected” in some virtual world than live the real world.
As a result
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, they lose the connection with their body and its possibilities. To conclude, sporty
television
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 programmes have
huge impact
Suggestion
a huge impact
 on discouraging young people to take part in
sport
Use synonyms
 activities, but
also
Linking Words
 other technology innovations have a role in that. In my opinion parents should encourage their children in outdoor sports
such
Linking Words
 as hiking, climbing, kayaking to contribute
on
Suggestion
to
 their
psychical
Suggestion
psyche
psyches
 and physic health.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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