The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie charts illustrate the Household
consume
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
of
energy
in an average Australian family and,
as a consequence
of it, the
Greenhouse
Gas
emissions. There are six sectors of interest described by a
percentage
: water heating, refrigeration, lighting, cooling, heating and other appliances. In short, there is almost the same
percentage
of
energy
used (2%) and
greenhouse
gas
emanated (3%) for cooling.
Furthermore
, the usage of
energy
for lighting is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
4%
while
the
percentage
of
gas
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
is twice as much. It's the same for refrigeration data, in fact
on one hand
Add the comma(s)
, on one hand,
show examples
there is a
percentage
of 7% in
energy
consume
Change the form of the verb
consumed
show examples
,
on
Correct word choice
and on
show examples
the other
hand
Add the comma(s)
,hand
show examples
a 14%
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
gas
emission
.
In addition
, there is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
usage of
energy
for heating of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
42%
while
the
percentage
of
gas
emissions is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
15%. It could be noticed that only in
this
case the
percentage
of
emission
is lower than
energy
consume
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Besides
, the
percentage
of water heating is more or less
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
30% in both charts (exactly 32% in the
second
one),
whereas
for other appliances there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
15% of
energy
Add an article
the energy
show examples
used and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
28% of
greenhouse
gas
emanated.
As
Change preposition
In
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, we can outline that in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cases, the usage of
energy
is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
half compared to the
gas
emission
. The
energy
is used
in particular
for heating,
while
greenhouse
gas
emission
is basically caused by water heating and various appliances.
Submitted by pisevi11 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, greenhouse, gas, percentage, emission with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.

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