IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Task 1: The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Task 1: The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#land #three #regions #world #information #features #comparisons
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The pie
chart
Use synonyms
 illustrates productive farming
land
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around the world is reduced by the main
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
reasons,
while
Linking Words
 the table
present
Replace the word
presents
show examples
 information about the percentage of
land
Use synonyms
 degraded by several causes, namely deforestation, over-cultivation and over-grazing in three different areas of the world in the 1990s.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 in the first
chart
Use synonyms
, over-grazing animals is the biggest reason
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
agricultural
Replace the word
agriculture
show examples
 become worse,
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 that deforestation and over-cultivation.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
second
Linking Words
chart
Use synonyms
, Europe was
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 area that has affected the highest and North America is the lowest. In the first
chart
Use synonyms
, the proportion of
land
Use synonyms
 degraded
due to
Linking Words
 having too many animals feeding on it is the highest
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 35%, compared
deforestation
Change preposition
to deforestation
show examples
 and
overcultivation
Correct your spelling
over-cultivation
 were 30% and 28%, respectively. The percentage of other
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
show examples
 is 7%. In the
second
Linking Words
chart
Use synonyms
, Europe is the area where the highest total
land
Use synonyms
 degraded is 23%,
while
Linking Words
 the figure for North America and Oceania were 5% and 13%, respectively.
Submitted by nguyennhancrazy on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "second, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, land with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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