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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people today are worried about y oung chi ldren using v ideo games. What problems might these games cause, for chi ldren and society as a whole? How could these problems be reduced?

#people #oung #chi #ldren #v #ideo #games #society
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As we live in over-qualified technology world, there is a great worryn
ess among
temporary loss of strength and energy resulting from hard physical or mental work
weariness
 people that there is a major threat for young people and adults in terms of playing
video
Use synonyms
 games. Ubnorm
alness of th
Suggestion
eir brains and becoming invisible from real w
orld can b
Suggestion
the real world
e the most serious challenges which society and individuals may suffer and but there some strait
forward solut
Suggestion
straight forward
strait forward
ions to alleviate their negative effects. There is strong evidence to suggest that gameah
olics who s
Suggestion
pend a large amount of their
time
Use synonyms
 in front of a screen watching
video
Use synonyms
 games easily can damage wellbe
ing of th
Suggestion
the wellbeing
eir mind and behavi
or by th
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
e violence which it includes.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, their own life and outloo
king will
Suggestion
be based on only from unreal
istic world which
Suggestion
an unrealistic world
 they are accustomed to see and be with. Later it can cause some problems with the relationship between their parents or even worse
they can n
Accept comma addition
worse, they
o
t adapt
can not
cannot
 to the difficulties of their life in the future. To handle
this
Linking Words
 p
roblems, the
Suggestion
this problem
these problems
proposal that parents should
initially
Linking Words
 explain that playing and flitte
ring away
the motion made by flapping up and down
fluttering
their
time
Use synonyms
 by unn
ec
Suggestion
with
essary games have no good point. Or they should make them busy by some kinds of sport activities or several subjects. According to
this
Linking Words
 opinion gamers will not be able to manage for games, indeed parents can organize their
time
Use synonyms
 and give some extra
time
Use synonyms
 for relaxing by
video
Use synonyms
 games, but only under the adult supervision of their children. These methods so efficiently would provide their children with mainte
nancely day w
activity involved in maintaining something in good working order
maintenance
h
ich is th
Accept comma addition
day, which
e most required thing in our country. To sum up, there is no doubt that young children might be able to suffer from ignorance of dealing with the problems of real life, when getting exposed to
video
Use synonyms
 games more often than they may be.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, possible solutions could be restricting their playing
time
Use synonyms

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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