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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about the number of social networking sites people used in Canada in 2014 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevan

The chart below gives information about the number of social networking sites people used in Canada in 2014 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevan
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The bar chart gives information about the percentage of multiple social network
sites
Use synonyms
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
used by
canadians
Change the capitalization
Canadians
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 2014 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, most people used one
Use synonyms
sites
Change to a singular noun
site
show examples
 in both years. if we
goes
Change the verb form
go
show examples
 to the five
sites
Use synonyms
 we can clearly see
gradual
Add an article
a gradual
show examples
 decline
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
a percentage
show examples
 of
users
Use synonyms
.
furthermore
Linking Words
 number of
one site
Add a hyphen
one-site
show examples
users
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
failed
filled
falled
Correct your spelling
fell
show examples
,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 the number
Use synonyms
users
Change preposition
of users
show examples
used
Correct pronoun usage
who used
show examples
 multiple
sites
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rose
Correct your spelling
in
ine
Correct your spelling
in
 the year
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 the percentage of people to
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 used any site got down to 21% from 22% in a year,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 the single site
users
Use synonyms
experinced
Correct your spelling
experienced
experience
 to
downward
Add an article
a downward
show examples
 trend and they downed to 28% from 36%. inversely
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of multiple
sites
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 indicated an upward trend
for instance
Linking Words
 two
sites
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 rose from 23% to 24%, three
sites
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
incrase
Correct your spelling
increase
increased
 to 16% from 12% with
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 incline, four
sites
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 with 3% increase to 8% from 5% and five
sites
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 rose to 4% from 2% with double the increase.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sites, users with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "goes" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "goes" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Comparative data
  • Utilization
  • Consecutive years
  • Overall trends
  • Proportion
  • Notable changes
  • Consistencies
  • Diversification
  • Summarize
  • Reflecting
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