IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The two pie charts below show the percentages of industry sectors’ contribution to the economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two pie charts below show the percentages of industry sectors’ contribution to the economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#two #show #percentages #industry #sectors’ #contribution #economy #turkey #information #features #comparisons
There are charts
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 information about the percentages of
sectors
contributed
Correct pronoun usage
that contributed
show examples
 to the
economy
 of Turkey for two periods, in 2000 and 2016.
Overall
, in the
first
period
, agriculture was the most significant
sector
contributed
Correct pronoun usage
that contributed
show examples
 to the
economy
 of Turkey,
while
 the construction
sector
 was the smallest
sector
 contributed. In comparison, in the
second
period
, healthcare and education became the largest
economy
 segment
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
economy
, and the lowest
contribution
 was finance, business, and others. There are four
sectors
 in which the
contribution
 increased.
First
, in 2000, the construction
sector
 contributes
3
Change preposition
to 3
show examples
% of the
economy
 and boost up more than three times to 10% in 2016.
Second
,
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 income from the manufacturing
sector
 in 2000 was 8% and in 2016 it increased
half
Change preposition
by half
show examples
 of the percentage to 12%.
Then
, a
contribution
 from trade, utilities, and transportation
sectors
; and finance, business and other was 16% and 5% respectively and each of them slightly increased to 16% and 8%. The rest of the
sectors
 are decreased and steady. The
sector
 of agriculture which in the
first
period
 gave an income
almost
Change preposition
of almost
show examples
 a quarter of the
economy
 fell to 14% in 2016.
Then
, in the
first
period
,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 government
sector
contribution
 decreased from 12% to 9% after it. After that, the leisure and hospitality
sectors
Change noun form
sectors'
sector's
show examples
contribution
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
slightly decreased from 17% to 14%. And
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
last
, there is no difference
contribution
Change preposition
in contribution
show examples
 from healthcare and education in 2000 and 2016.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "second".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sectors, economy, first, period, sector, contribution with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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