IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

We have too many choices in what extent do you agree or disagree?

#choices
The above
statement
referred
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that we have too many
choices
 is quite disputable. Some people believe that nowadays we have too many
options
. In
this
 script, I will discuss
about in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 what extent I agree and disagree with
this
statement
. We have so many
choices
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 true
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a great extent. With the advancement of
life
Add a comma
life,
show examples
 there have been created too many
options
 automatically. To illustrate, if we want to buy a computer we will find many variations in
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 in regards
model
Fix the infinitive
to model
show examples
 and cost which can make us confused. Technology is one of the most
incredibly
Change the adverb
incredible
show examples
invention
Change to a plural noun
inventions
show examples
 which brings many
choices
 in front of us.
Furthermore
, if we want to buy any clothes we have to meet many
options
 which can
also
 lead us
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 indecision. There are plenty of
options
 if we move on to pick up social media. When we turn on our television we will get many
options
 in channels.
In addition
,
while
 we travel we have many
choices
. Disagreement with
this
statement
 seems to me less than agreement. If we count natural resources or natural beauties we are becoming deprived
from
Change the preposition
of
show examples
choices
.
For instance
, If we want to play in
playground
Correct article usage
the playground
show examples
 we are losing our
lands
Fix the agreement mistake
land
show examples
 day by day. In the sense of
disagree
Change the verb form
disagreeing
show examples
 with
this
statement
Add a comma
statement,
show examples
 I can say that we have not too many
choices
 in natural perspectives. Nowadays, we have too many
choices
 is believed by some people
is
Correct word choice
and is
show examples
debatable
Add an article
a debatable
the debatable
show examples
statement
. In my opinion, I support
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the people who believe that
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
 extent rather than
disagreement
Replace the word
disagree
show examples
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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