IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programs #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
Firstly
, there is a wide range of people in terms of financial status. To name
few
Suggestion
a few
,
such
 as, High End Rich, Rich, Upper Middle Class, Middle Class, Lower Middle Class, Poor. Rich and middle class people must help poor.
Obviosly
Suggestion
Obviously
, to have a good
society it
Accept comma addition
society, it
 starts with good
neighborhood
a surrounding or nearby region
neighbourhood
. Sound Body will have
sound mind
Suggestion
a sound mind
sound minds
,
consequently
 sports
are
Suggestion
is
 must. Good habits, indeed, to be taught from
the early
Suggestion
earliest
 childhood, to mould the children to be responsible and to
incultivate
release from military service or remove from the active list of military service
inactivate
in cultivate
 good manners, to make them generous, some of the points discussed in the above topic,
such
 as charity, improving the
neighborhood
a surrounding or nearby region
neighbourhood
 or teaching sports are few to be developed in the students while they are studying in the school. Charity is
excellent habbit
Suggestion
an excellent habit
excellent habit
excellent habitat
 to be developed in the children. The positive side of
this
habbit
an established custom
habit
habitat
 is children will become kind towards others. Alternatively, we will have worse society.
Crime rate
Suggestion
The crime rate
Crime rates
 will go
high
Suggestion
higher
. Being good with neighbours makes good and pleasant society to live in. Sports is
fun
Accept comma addition
fun, in
in addition
 to it will bring physical fitness and sound health. When the students work for all these free of cost, they will learn good qualities.
Further
, they will become
the best
Suggestion
better
 citizens of the country. To conclude, these practises are
must
used to form the superlative
most
 at school.
Submitted by syedakhadija1981 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: