IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph provides information about the
number
Use synonyms
 of
passed out
Add a hyphen
passed-out
show examples
 graduate students in Canada between 1992 and 2007.
overall
Linking Words
 both females and males experienced an upward pattern.but both had some fluctuations throughout the
period
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 female
graduates
Use synonyms
 were higher in
number
Use synonyms
 during
this
Linking Words
period
Use synonyms
.
Initially
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
graduates
Correct word choice
female graduates
show examples
 of females was nearly
about
Rephrase
apply
show examples
100000 in 1992 and it rose approximately by 5000 during the next three years. Even though there was a gradual decrease in the
number
Use synonyms
 of female
graduates
Use synonyms
 between 1995 and 1998.
However
Linking Words
, it continued to increase steadily to the end of the
period
Use synonyms
 and
hitting
Wrong verb form
hit
show examples
 the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
graduates
Use synonyms
 nearly
about
Rephrase
apply
show examples
150000 in 2007. It was almost 60000 more than, the
number
Use synonyms
 of male students
graduated
Correct pronoun usage
who graduated
show examples
 in the same year. The
number
Use synonyms
 of male
graduates
Use synonyms
 was about 70000 in 1992 and it showed the same pattern as female students until 1995. After that, there was a dramatic decrease in the next four years. even though the
number
Use synonyms
 of males increased to almost above 90000
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the end of the
period
Use synonyms
. But showed some fluctuations from 1998 to 2001.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, period, graduates with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • general trend
  • fluctuations
  • peaks
  • dips
  • significant differences
  • increase/decrease
  • comparison
  • data
  • period
  • economic conditions
  • policy changes
  • cultural shifts
  • implications
  • workforce
  • economy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: