IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The widespread use of the internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems connected with using the web? What solutions can you suggest?

#internet #web
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The utilize of the
internet
Use synonyms
 makes a
lot
Use synonyms
 of troubles in the modern world that some of these affect
noticeabale
capable or worthy of being perceived
noticeable
 on the
people
Suggestion
person's
 life. We mention some main problems and
relevent
having a bearing on or connection with the subject at issue
relevant
 solutions in
this
Linking Words
 essay. Frist of all, the
internet
Use synonyms
 provides a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
intertainments
an activity that is diverting and that holds the attention
entertainment
 for people.
Linking Words
Also they
Accept comma addition
Also, they
 spend a
lot
Use synonyms
 of times on
typical kind
Suggestion
the typical kind
 of application.
This
Linking Words
 causes that people do not pay attention to each other when they have been in the party. A
further
Linking Words
 solution is some rules should be set for family parties.
For example
Linking Words
, all mobiles of guests could be gotten at
frist
preceding all others in time or space or degree
first
 of the party by the owner of the party. By doing
this
Linking Words
, relatives talk to each other and they spend much more good times. Another main problem is that children spend a
lot
Use synonyms
 of time on the
internet
Use synonyms
 for playing a
lot
Use synonyms
 of exciting game applications on the tablet, computer and game
consol
give moral or emotional strength to
console
consoles
. And so they
doing
Suggestion
do
are doing
 less movement games than in the past,
such
Linking Words
 as doing sports or playing football. So
this
Linking Words
 affects badly on the children’s health.
A
Suggestion
An
 obvious approach is for parents to encourage kids to
doing
Suggestion
do
 activity games.
For instance
Linking Words
, parents could enrol their children in sport classes.
As a result
Linking Words
, children spend much
times
Suggestion
time
 in out and they do not have times
for
Suggestion
from
 the
internet
Use synonyms
.
Another
Suggestion
Other
 problems, which worker are blamed for, is spending time on the
internet
Use synonyms
 at work. A best way, in my opinion, is for employers to give permission of the
internet
Use synonyms
 uses just for doing of
company’s works
Suggestion
the company’s works
.
Such
Linking Words
 as, employers get a wifi
internet
Use synonyms
 that computers of
company
Suggestion
companies
a company
 are just connected to it. By doing
this
Linking Words
,
emploees
a worker who is hired to perform a job
employees
 focus on their
works
Suggestion
work
. Overall, it is clear that setting up some rules in each
inviroment
the totality of surrounding conditions
environment
such
Linking Words
 as home
atmospher
a particular environment or surrounding influence
atmosphere
 or work offices could be efficient to consumption of the
internet
Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
 people should be understood which respect to these rules.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • widespread use
  • main problems
  • associated with
  • cybercrime
  • hacking
  • privacy
  • data security
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • addiction
  • excessive screen time
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • online scams
  • fraud
  • loss of productivity
  • impersonal communication
  • social isolation
  • digital divide
  • solutions
  • suggest
What to do next:
Look at other essays: