Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #part #group #activities #time

There has been

incresing

becoming greater or larger

increasing

debate to whether children should participate in organised

group

activities or they should choose their activities on their own in their free time. In

this

essay, I will see both

point

Suggestion

points

of views and give my opinion.

To begin

with, there is a lot of

advantage

Suggestion

advantages

that children

paticipate

share in something

participate

participant

to join organised

group

activities in their free time. They are able to learn how communicate with other people and

team work

cooperative work done by a team (especially when it is effective)

teamwork

which is very important

for

Suggestion

live when children get adult.

Additionally

, they can get many

imformation

a message received and understood

information

about society, schools and a lot of

another

not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied

other

things.

This

definitery

without question and beyond doubt

definitely

help

Suggestion

helping

for children's life.

Moreover

, they learn to compete and cope with

pressure which

Accept comma addition

pressure, which

is necessary to our life.

Secondly

, there is

also

benefits that children choose

them

of them or themselves

their

activity in their free time. They can learn

ability

Suggestion

the ability

abilities

of decisions and responsibility.

This

may be learn

Suggestion

may be learned

faster independence than children participating in

group

activities.

However

, there is

disadvantage

Suggestion

a disadvantage

as well. Of course

childre

a young person of either sex

children

do not have much experience so more likely to make the wrong choice.

In addition

, some people get internet dependence and

can not

cannot

communicate without online which possibility is a big disadvantage. In conclusion, having considered both point of views, my opinion is an organised

group

activities

Suggestion

activity

is more beneficial for children.

However

, parents give

childre

a young person of either sex

children

child

cider

to make

decision

Suggestion

decisions

a decision

the decision

and freedom. Children are the future of society so we should have responsibility

Suggestion

for

them

of them or themselves

their

education.

Submitted by ask1120.89 on Thu Apr 09 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

240 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
occupied
organized
group activities
benefits
social
teamwork skills
interpersonal skills
friendship
discipline
time management
interests
hobbies
independent play
creativity
problem-solving skills
self-reliance
explore
discover

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Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Online education is becoming increasingly popular. many students are choosing to study online instead of face-to-face education. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this new approach?

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?