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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given bar chart illustrates the percentage of people visiting a local cinema in a particular European country on various days in a week in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
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2003, 2005 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that Saturdays are the most crowded and considered to be the peak in all
three
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 and recorded as approximately just below 40% in 2003, fewer than 45% in 2005 and between 40% to 45% in 2007. Generally,
In
Change preposition
On
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 Mondays
smaller
Correct article usage
a smaller
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 number of people visited the cinema in all
three
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 but Wednesdays in 2007 are the lowest recorded
according to
Linking Words
 the given data.
However
Linking Words
, Tuesdays between 15% and 20% (for all
three
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
) and Thursdays between 10% and 25% (for all
three
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
) had an increased number of people
in contrast
Linking Words
 to
Monday
Fix the agreement mistake
Mondays
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 and
Wednesday
Fix the agreement mistake
Wednesdays
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.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, on
Fridays
Add a comma
,Fridays
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 a
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
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 percentage was captured in 2003, 2005 and 2007 and it was figured as 30% respectively.
Additionally
Linking Words
, on Sundays in 2003,
also
Linking Words
 it was recorded at 30%,
Linking Words
further
Add a comma
,further
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 it increased
on
Change preposition
in
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 2005 and 2007 between 30% and 35%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words three, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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