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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The following table graph represents the information about sales of drinks in small café for four months (January-April).

The following table graph represents the information about sales of drinks in small café for four months (January-April).
#information #sales #drinks #café #four #months #january-april
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The following table graph represents
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information about sales of
drinks
 in small café for four months (January-April).
Overall
, what stands out from
this
 given graph is that there were the highest indexes in tea and coffee sales during the first three months of year 250, 270,
220
Correct word choice
and 220
show examples
 respectively, but from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
April
this
 data fell
at
Change preposition
to
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 180. It is interesting to note that the followers of cocktails were the lowest index in
following
Add an article
the following
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 period and fluctuated around 90-110. Another striking trend is that the data of juice lovers were two times higher than cocktails’, and fluctuated between 200, 190,
210
Correct word choice
and 210
show examples
 respectively.
Finally
, the index of
ice
Replace the word
iced
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drinks
 was 150
in
Change the preposition
at
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 the beginning of
given
Add an article
the given
show examples
 period, namely January
as well as
 February.
Nevertheless
, in
following
Correct article usage
the following
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 two months there was rapid growth and reach the point
at
Change preposition
of
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 190 in March and 230 in April.
Overall
, after analyzing the given table graph
in
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 can be clearly seen that, Juices and Cocktails are not
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
 by seasonal demand.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Hot
drinks
 and Ice
drinks
 are always
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
 by seasonal demand.
Submitted by nargiza_san on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words drinks with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "represents" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • increased
  • recorded
  • significant increase
  • lowest
  • compared to
  • positive growth
  • successful
  • attracting
  • evaluate
  • boost
  • attributed to
  • seasonal factors
  • promotional activities
  • maintaining
  • introducing
  • improving
  • preferences
  • cater to
  • effectively
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