Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #entertainers #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

With the rapid development of modern technologies

such

Linking Words

as the internet or television, entertainers have become increasingly popular. Some people believe that celebrities are getting too high

salary

Use synonyms

. Given that it is not fair to others and some celebrities are not well deserved, I completely agree that they are paid too much money.

First

Linking Words

of all, Having

such

Linking Words

an enormous

salary

Use synonyms

is unfair to those working in other vocations which contribute much more to the

society

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, an engineer has an average monthly

salary

Use synonyms

of HK$ 30000, while a famous film star or a pop musician can earn more than a million in less than one month.

Although

Linking Words

some vocations

such

Linking Words

as doctors, engineers or

scienctists

a person with advanced knowledge of one or more sciences

scientists

solve real world problems for the

society

Use synonyms

, they are not getting the wages that they deserved and indeed, even less than those stars who entertain others only.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I think that it’s unfair to those who really benefit the

society

Use synonyms

at large.

Moreover

Linking Words

, some

celebrites

a widely known person

celebrities

are not deserved to get

such

Linking Words

a high-paid

salary

Use synonyms

. As an example, it is reported that there are many sports stars or film stars are involved in some crimes

such

Linking Words

as utilise illegal medicines or participate a violent fight. A celebrities should be a role model to the general public

otherwise

Linking Words

some tender and vulnerable children may portray their actions.

As a result

Linking Words

, some entertainers are not really deserved to get

such

Linking Words

an enormous. Having discussed that entertainers who receive

such

Linking Words

a high-paying

salary

Use synonyms

are

Suggestion

unfair to others and some are not deserved to. I firmly agree that they are being paid too much money. If the money could be

use

Suggestion

used

widely, I am confident that the

society

Use synonyms

would be much better than before.

Submitted by kelvinmang888 on Thu Apr 09 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
"Migration from rural areas to cities has long been a significant trend, presenting various challenges. In today's world, this movement has intensified, leading to a noticeable decline in the population of the countryside. From my perspective, this trend is largely negative, as it can lead to several detrimental consequences. This essay will explore the reasons why this shift might be problematic."
7.5
band
Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answer.
Recently, the number of individuals who have shown interest in emigrating from their own region to English-speaking regions to continue their education has incredibly increased. In this essay, I will elaborate on the reasons for such a growth in this proportion.
5
band
Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
It is considered by some people that graduating from university is the best option to landing on a good job, whereas others argue that improving soft skills and acknowledging experience are essential.
5.5
band
In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities , so the population in the countryside is decreasing.
In the present day, during the process of urbanization, living in rural areas is decreasing, leading to fewer people in the suburbs.
7.5
band
Some parents say that children should play individually more than in a group. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and include your own opinion.
Childhood is definitely the best part of one's life and children have their own imaginations. Different kids have contrasting personalities, so a few of them enjoy being in the company of many kids while others love being in solitude. A fraction of parents prefer that their offspring should stay and relish alone. There are various benefits and drawbacks to this mindset . I will discuss both and then will eventually give my opinion.

Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answer.

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities , so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Some parents say that children should play individually more than in a group. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and include your own opinion.