IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

’’ Mothers play key roles in the upbringing of children, but in the recent times both parents are getting busy with professional life. Who in your opinion should take the responsibility of child care now?’’ Give your opinion in no less than 250 words.

#mothers #roles #upbringing #children #times #parents #life #responsibility #child #care
Since the dawn of civilization mothers
have been taking
Suggestion
has been taking
has been taken
was taken
has taken
care
 of their son and daughter;
however
, they are becoming busier with their professional life like fathers due to the recent situation of
the busiest
Suggestion
the busy
 world. Considering
this
 situation, I must say that parents both men and women should take
responsibility
 of nourishing their infants. Mothers, generally, are responsible to take
care
 of their
child
Suggestion
children
.
Nevertheless
, the tradition is changing, where mothers have to pay attention about professional career and they play vital roles in the development of their society and country. From
this
perspective there
Accept comma addition
perspective, there
 is no point to bound mothers to restrict them only in
house hold
a social unit living together
household
 activities.
Consequently
, fathers should come forward to take
care
 of
child
Suggestion
the child
children
a child
 along with mothers. Observing recent changing
trend
Suggestion
trends
 of the world, where women are considered
crucial part
Suggestion
a crucial part
 of
socio-economic
involving social as well as economic factors
socioeconomic
 development, men should let women do other activities outside of the home. So, men should
also
 take
responsibility
 of taking
care
 of infants. Needless to say that, if we think that there is no
responsibility
 of men in upbringing of children, it will not bring a good result for the society. Because, if men do not take
care
 their children, they will have less influence on their children to help them to lead a peaceful life as they have no contribution to take
care
 of their
child
Suggestion
children
.
That is
 why, to influence children positively, men must have to have
great contribution
Suggestion
a great contribution
great contributions
 in the upbringing of children. To put it briefly, taking
care
 of
children mothers
Suggestion
the children's mothers
children's mothers
have
Suggestion
has
major
Suggestion
a major responsibility
major responsibilities
responsibility
.
However
, considering the recent change of the world women should not be restricted only in the upbringing of children. As men should have contribution to take
care
 of children so both should take the
responsibility
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: