You recently joined a sports club and are having some problems. Write to the manager and include Why you joined the club The problems you are having Some possible solutions

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am Jaspreet Kaur, and I have recently joined the Snapfit gym to develop my physical fitness and tone my body.

However

Linking Words

, I am completely dissatisfied with the services offered by your club’s branch located near the Surrey Central Mall. My main motive behind joining the sports club was to lose the excessive fat from my body.

Additionally

Linking Words

, I was thinking

to hire

Change preposition

of hiring

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a personal trainer, who can recommend me the best weekly diet. Unfortunately, there are a number of problems that I have faced during my visit to the

snap fitness

Correct your spelling

Snap Fitness

show examples

Sports Club.

Firstly

Linking Words

, I had to wait too long outside the gym as there was no employee on duty in the morning, and upon asking, they said that we

don’t

Wrong verb form

didn’t

show examples

have enough staff.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the majority of

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

not working and the management is not taking any initiative to fix them.

Lastly

Linking Words

, the

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

sometimes

produce

Correct subject-verb agreement

produces

show examples

a foul smell because of improper cleaning. I think that

this

Linking Words

matter deserves your urgent attention.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I want you to take strict

actions

Fix the agreement mistake

action

show examples

towards the management

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that they can take care of the maintenance of all the

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

of the gym.

Additionally

Linking Words

, I would really appreciate

Correct pronoun usage

it if

show examples

you could send some technician to fix the broken machines as soon as possible. I Look forward

hearing

Change preposition

to hearing

show examples

from you soon. Yours faithfully, Jaspreet Kaur

Fri Apr 10 2020

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Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance the logical structure, try to organize your letter with clear introductory, body, and concluding paragraphs.

Task Achievement

Enhance task achievement by addressing each point in the prompt more explicitly, for example, explaining why the solutions are feasible.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your greeting and closing are appropriately used, helping the reader understand the beginning and end of the letter.

Task Achievement

The respectful and polite tone is appropriate for writing to a manager.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

227 words

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You recently joined a sports club and are having some problems. Write to the manager and include Why you joined the club The problems you are having Some possible solutions

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Many criminals reoffend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished? What measures can be taken to tackle this problem

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message.

Nowadays many mothers take care of the family and don’t go out to work. Some people believe they should be given salaries by the government. 🔸Do you agree or disagree?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Video records are a better way to learn about the way other people live in the world live rather than written documents. To what extend do you agree or disagree?