Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#celebrities #money

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In today’s world, we categorise

the

Correct article usage

apply

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famous

people

like singers, actors or models are the highest earners in society. It is said that they are significantly overpaid. In my perspective, I totally disagree with

this

statement, I will give reasons.

Firstly

, like other occupations, celebrities have to train and practice for a long period, in order to improve their skills and expertise. Very few

people

have

the

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apply

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gifted talent like beautiful voices or potential acting skills, so they have to make efforts to survive and be famous in the competitive environment.

For example

, many singers,

Correct word choice

apply

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usually called K-pop idols, have to be trainees for a long time,

can

Correct pronoun usage

which can

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be up to 10 years, before they can debut. Some reality shows record their process, and it’s obviously seen that life isn’t easy for anyone.

Therefore

, I think that the high salaries celebrities earn

Change the verb form

are

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worthy of their attempt.

Furthermore

, it is a case of supply and demand. We create demand by going to see their concerts and buying their music. The well-known

people

perform for us, they inspire us and their products help us relax and reduce

stresses

Fix the agreement mistake

stress

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. In conclusion, I

believed

Wrong verb form

believe

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that the high salaries of famous

people

are not overpaid. Personally, I think it’s

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euphoria to pay for what

bring

Change the verb form

brings

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a smile to your face

while

the celebrities are satisfied because they could dedicate their talents.

However

, more jobs in society just as doctors or teachers need to be paid higher because of

their

Change the word

the

show examples

hard process

to become

Change preposition

of becoming

show examples

successful.

Submitted by thvaan1.6 on Fri Apr 10 2020

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coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates good logical structure and overall coherence. However, ensure that your ideas are organized in a more cohesive manner to enhance overall readability and clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

252 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

lucrative
revenue
sponsorships
merchandise
career longevity
market demand
economic contribution
role models
influence
entertainment industry

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Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

You are a student at a University in the UK. You have recently lost your University ID Card. Write to the local police station giving details of: who are you? what happened? Ask to record your details so that you can apply a new ID card.

Many people are supportive of the opinion that young children should study at home, because there are so many problems in schools nowadays. To what extent do you agree?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?