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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people claim that what many people eat in western countries is unhealthy food and that their diet is getting worse. Critics say that these countries should change their diet. What are your opinions on this?

#people #countries #food #diet #critics #change
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In the
last
 decades, there have been considerable advances in technology, affecting people’s lifestyle. One of the aspects of
life
 which is mostly impacted by technology is the
food
 people eat. There is a common belief that
western people’s diet pattern
Suggestion
a western people’s diet pattern
 is getting unhealthier and that should be changed. I totally agree with
this
 idea and in
this
 essay I will support my opinion with examples.
Firstly
, junk foods are the main factor of obesity in western countries. Take fast foods
such
 as hamburgers as an example. They are fried in a huge amount of
oil which
Accept comma addition
oil, which
 is used multiple times. Since Westerns mostly follow a sedentary lifestyle, the fat gained by these kind of foods is stored in
body
Suggestion
the body
 and results in fatness.
Secondly
, there are growing number of people who get diet-related diseases in western countries. Diseases,
such
 as diabetes, high cholesterol, blood pressure and so on, are some examples of the impacts that unhealthy
food
 might have on
health
Suggestion
the health
 of the ones who eat them. As the number of fast
food
 restaurants and prepared
food
 companies increases, the number of sufferings from these illnesses would
increases
Suggestion
increase
 too.
On the other hand
, some argue that the tendency toward prepared
food
 is inevitable due to the speed of today’s
life
. People in western countries,
also
 known as industrial countries, spend a large majority of their time at work.
As a result
, they don’t have much time to prepare home-made and wholesome foods. To sum up, there is a change in Westerns’ diet habit down to the change of their
life
 circumstances.
Although
 it’s not easy for them to cook healthy foods because of the lack of time, consuming fast foods may result in
overweighting
excessive heating
overheating
everything
 and
being exposed
Suggestion
been exposed
 to modern
life
 diseases. In my view, a solution is for the governments to alter their people’s dietary pattern by encouraging them to eat healthier foods or increasing tax on fast foods.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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