IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In the modern world it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is this a positive or negative development?

#world #shop #work #people #internet #contact #development
t
Suggestion
T
 is true that in contemporary life people in many parts of the world are able to do their shopping, work and communicate with each other via the
internet
. In my opinion, while there are clear positive aspects of
this
 trend, there are
also
 negative aspects of having less face-to-face contact with other people. On the one hand, the
internet
 can be very handy in many ways. Many people use it to keep in touch with friends and family, using Facebook, Skype or What’s App to send instant messages or to enjoy a quick chat. Many
also
 use the
internet
 for online shopping,
thus
 saving time and petrol on trips to the supermarket as well as hunting around different sites for bargains.
However
, it is in terms of
work
Suggestion
the work
 that the
internet
 offers the most potential benefits. More and more people are working or even studying from home, at hours which suit their own schedules. Many hours are saved each week by eliminating the daily commute and the stress of coping with the rush hour.
On the other hand
, as social beings, people need personal contacts.
Firstly
, virtual friendships which are formed online may not be genuine. The media
carries
Suggestion
carry
 many horror stories of youngsters who have fallen prey to
pedophiles
an adult who is sexually attracted to children
paedophiles
,
for example
.
Secondly
, online shopping is not always appropriate, depending on the item. It is best,
for instance
, to try on clothes before buying, and while a bookworm can find almost any book title that they want online, they will certainly miss browsing the shelves of bookstores.
Finally
, personal interaction with work colleagues can generate ideas and avoid misunderstandings. In conclusion,
although
 there are positive aspects of
this
 trend, there are
also
 aspects of face-to-face contact which it would be a shame to lose.
Submitted by doljin.tsend on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: