Today, TV channels provide men’s sport shows more than women’s sports shows. Why? Should TV channels give equal time for women’s sport and men’s sport?

#tv #channels #men’s #sport #women’s #sports #time

Nowadays, there is a high number of

sports

played by men are broadcast, compared to that of women. The main reason for

this

is the growing number of people having more interest in men’s sporting

event

Fix the agreement mistake

events

show examples

. In my point of view, I believe that

women’s

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

should be paid

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

equal attention. On the one hand, the major factor that why the game played by men is more popular.

To begin

with,

Correct article usage

the numbers

show examples

numbers

Fix the agreement mistake

number

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

audiences that watch men’s

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

shows

considerably

Add a missing verb

is considerably

show examples

out

numbers

Change the noun form

number

show examples

shows

Change preposition

of shows

show examples

of their female counterparts

due to

when a lot of viewers watch it, the broadcaster will have more advertising contracts,

they

Correct word choice

and they

show examples

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

get more profits and more money.

For example

, male football in Vietnam attracts millions of viewers. The television channels will increase the advertising prices in the peak hours to hundreds of million for 30 seconds.

On the other hand

sports

play

Wrong verb form

played

show examples

by women would

Verb problem

apply

show examples

also

gained

Wrong verb form

gain

show examples

the interest of the audiences that of men.

Initially

, as everyone has known,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

men’s

sport

has been invented for a thousand years, but as the world becomes more modern, women have equal rights to gender, so

female

Fix the agreement mistake

females

show examples

have

also

taken part in

sport

Besides

, there are some

fast growing

Add a hyphen

fast-growing

show examples

women’s

sports

such

as aerobics and tennis which

female

Fix the agreement mistake

females

show examples

gain a significant number of prices.

For instance

, the best female swimmer

Change preposition

show examples

Vietnam, Anh Vien,

she

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

won several gold medals for SEA GAMES 29, thanks to her accomplishments, people

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

also

gradually

tended

Add the particle

tended to

show examples

women’s

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

To sum up

besides

, the growth of the male’s

sport

, I think

women’s

sports

should

also

be invested by broadcast.

Fri Apr 10 2020

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task response

The essay discusses the reasons why there is a high number of men's sports shows broadcast compared to women's sports shows, and expresses the opinion that equal attention should be given to women's sports. The essay addresses the task but lacks depth in the analysis and fails to provide a balanced argument.

coherence cohesion

The introduction provides a clear overview of the essay, but the conclusion is brief and lacks a summary of the main points discussed. The essay lacks coherence and cohesion in linking the ideas, resulting in some unclear relationships between sentences and paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today, TV channels provide men’s sport shows more than women’s sports shows. Why? Should TV channels give equal time for women’s sport and men’s sport?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Students should focus on learning in the classroom rather than show their status by wearing fashionable clothes. Therefore all students should wear school uniform. Do you agree or disagree

Housing shortage in big cities can cause severe social consequences. Some people think only government action can solve this problem. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.