Nowadays, young people spend much of their time watching TV and playing video games. Some people think these activities are bad for a young person's mental and physical health. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #time #tv #video #games #activities #person #health

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Nowadays, teenagers tend to use almost all of their time to watch

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and play video

games

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. Because of

this

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, many people believe that these activities are bad for young people’s mental and physical

health

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. In my opinion, I partly agree with

this

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statement because these interests are only harmful to the young’s

health

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when they are overdone, and if they watch

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and play

games

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moderately, it is a good way to learn. When

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and video

games

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are overused, it has negative effects not only on the psychological but

also

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on the physical

health

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of youngsters.

First,

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staring at the screens for prolonged hours can easily cause several eye diseases,

such

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as myopia and eyestrain, because of the blue light from the device’s screens.

Moreover

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, sitting or lying down for too long can hurt the spine and seriously increase the risk of chronic

health

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problems.

Finally

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, by spending much of their time on these interests, teenagers could suffer from anxiety and depression, especially when watching horror movies or playing violent

games

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Therefore

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, they might find it difficult to communicate and would be afraid of society.

On the other hand

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, adolescents can learn a lot from these hobbies.

First,

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by using these devices, they would have practical knowledge of technology and a good understanding of how to use it.

Secondly

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games

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train not only the movement of the hand to play and type fast but

also

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the brain to think quickly. Especially, playing puzzle

games

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can increase IQ and teach many essential skills,

such

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as problem-solving and improving memory and concentration.

Finally

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, watching

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is an interesting and visual way of learning.

For example

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, when studying

about

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apply

show examples

animals’ lives, young people can learn about them from descriptions in textbooks, but if they watch

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, they will understand exactly and clearly how animals move and hunt. In conclusion, watching

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and playing video

games

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are only bad for young adults’

health

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if they overuse them. Actually, doing these activities moderately and regularly is an entertaining and effective way for adolescents to learn.

Thus

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, the young generation should spend less time on these devices and do exercises or hang out to meet friends.

Submitted by dnquynhtram23 on Sun Dec 17 2023

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task achievement

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task achievement

Your ideas could be more comprehensive by expanding on the points provided and offering deeper insight. This will give your essay more depth and demonstrate a greater understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Incorporate more relevant examples to support your main points. This strengthens your argument by showing real-world applications or consequences of the topic discussed.

coherence cohesion

You have structured your essay in a logical manner with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, some transitions between ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. Using a greater range of linking words can enhance the flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with more evidence and detailed explanations to provide a stronger argument. This will make your position more persuasive and compelling to the reader.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

362 words

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Nowadays, young people spend much of their time watching TV and playing video games. Some people think these activities are bad for a young person's mental and physical health. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that music is a good way to bring people from different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?