These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children’s behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

#amount #violence #television #impact #children’s #behaviour

Watching

television

nowadays is becoming a part of people daily activities to spend our leisure time and gathering new information worldwide. On the other side, some people believe that seeing

television

gives a negative effect to children's behaviour. While

this

is understandable, I strongly believe that each opinion has a strong reason. Not only adult people, but

also

children who watch

television

. Some

television

daily programs showing a violence on their

program

. Many people link violence on

television

with the real world. Children who do not have a mind border yet usually copying behaviour they see on the screen.

For example

, in Indonesia, in these recent years children delinquency increased dramatically. They do crimes based on violence they saw on

This

trend makes them become a criminal, some case makes someone lose their life.

Consequently

, some

programs giving a negative impacts to a child's future.

On the other hand

, we can

also

get some benefits by watching

television

. By seeing

television

, children can gather information and make learning more fun. We can update our knowledge about global events. The evidence of

this

case can be seen that nowadays, by watching the Discovery Channel or National Geographic, young people will get a new edification. Children will have an awareness about world wild and know about the new place without having to go there.

In addition

television

has another function. For some children who does not have much time to play outside, seeing

program

is one of a best way to relax.

For example

, now on nearly all of

station has a comedy

program

This

program

brings the best comedian, which

last

decades, only can be seen in the circus, into our homes.

This

program

will entertain and refresh children mind after their gruelling day. To sum up, it is evident that seeing

television

has advantages,

although

it has

also

given

also

give negative effect. To reduce the negative impact for children, parents and the society should pay more attention to young kids and selected

program

that children watched.

Submitted by melika4120 on Fri Apr 10 2020

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

343 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

exposure
influence
desensitization
imitate
parental guidance
education
mitigate
negative impact
affected
violent content
behavior
factors

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