At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the numbers of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
i
Accept space
,
t is ascertained that m
ajor proportion
Suggestion
a major proportion
the major proportion
of c
ountries
Suggestion
the country's population
country's population
a country's population
countries' population
population
Use synonyms
w
ere
Suggestion
was
mainly young adults as
this
Linking Words
differs in c
omparing
Suggestion
comparison
compared
comparisons
to the number of elderly folks in each
country
Use synonyms
. l
Suggestion
L
will discuss both v
iew
Accept comma addition
view, then
then
Linking Words
justify my reason at l
atter end.
Suggestion
the latter end
To begin
Linking Words
with,the advantages of increased
Youth
Use synonyms
population
Use synonyms
can not be over estimated as the benefit outweigh the disadvantages,
firstly
Linking Words
the
youth
Use synonyms
are the futures of tommorow,in
this
Linking Words
case when assessing the economic effects of the high
youth
Use synonyms
population
Use synonyms
it seems is very important factor in contributing to economic of the countries
for
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
most seniors are in their retirement age receiving income from the Government ,so for Government of each
country
Use synonyms
to maintain constant pension payments
this
Linking Words
requre a lot of
youth
Use synonyms
in workforce paying their taxes and
this
Linking Words
will inturn sustain each
country
Use synonyms
economy. More
also
Linking Words
,
for
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
for
Country
Use synonyms
like C
anada which
Accept comma addition
Canada, which
has f
ewers
(comparative of 'few' used with count nouns) quantifier meaning a smaller number of
fewer
youth
Use synonyms
comparing to the number of older a
dult
Suggestion
adults
and
that is
Linking Words
why c
anada
a nation in northern North America; the French were the first Europeans to settle in mainland Canada
Canada
e
ngage
Suggestion
engages
in immigration in order to fill the port hole in
population
Use synonyms
margins by allowing more
youth
Use synonyms
to come to
c
Use synonyms
ountry
Suggestion
the country
and
this
Linking Words
tremendously increased their working
youth
Use synonyms
number and improve the Canadian economic status. l
n
Suggestion
In
On
Ln
o
ther
any of various alternatives; some other
another
word
,l
Accept space
,
ooking into the disadvantages more
Youth
Use synonyms
in the
country
Use synonyms
.
Accept space
.
Firstly
Linking Words
the
youth
Use synonyms
need to empower by
country
Use synonyms
,
for
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
some
country
Use synonyms
have free education up to high school while some
country
Use synonyms
give access to loan for Tertiary education and these enable the
youth
Use synonyms
to contribute positively to the
society
Use synonyms
at long run and
also
Linking Words
there is a lot of jobs in the
society
Use synonyms
for
youth
Use synonyms
but
this
Linking Words
is different in each
country
Use synonyms
for
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
in a
country
Use synonyms
where job opportunities is less and
also
Linking Words
more illiterate
youth
Use synonyms
there is a lot of crime because majority of the
youth
Use synonyms
are not educated and
this
Linking Words
pose a threat to the of older people in the
society
Use synonyms
,like stealing engage in frauds and all sort of criminals activities. l
n
Suggestion
On
Ln
conclusion, l believe the benefit of h
igh
Suggestion
the high population
population
Use synonyms
of
youth
Use synonyms
outweigh the disadvantages as
this
Linking Words
show positive trend in economics part of the c
ountries
Suggestion
country
and
also
Linking Words
sustained the financial benefits of the retired Senior in our
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ayoanu2000 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: